Montgomery Burns explains the "fiscal cliff"

Montgomery Burns endorses... Mitt Romney

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Makes perfect sense, no?


No word yet from Robert Underdunk Terwilliger Jr., but I think we all know his views on the matter.

Cain and Schwarzenegger, according to The Simpsons

By Michael J.W. Stickings

For you Simpsons fans out there -- and if you're not a fan, particularly of the first, oh, 10-12 seasons, what's wrong with you? -- Ranker has a great list of "13 Simpsons jokes that actually came true."

Like, for example, how Lunch Lady Doris puts gym mats in a meat grinder and how we now learn that one of the ingredients used to make gym mats, azodicarbonamide, is actually found in the horrendous McRib. Or how there really is a Scotchtoberfest. And a Flaming Moe. And a Good Morning Burger. And a Land of Chocolate. And a Leftorium, of sorts. And how The Hangover would appear to be a blatant ripoff of the episode "Viva Ned Flanders."

Well, read the whole thing, but allow me to draw your attention to #6, the eerie similarity between Governor Schwarzenegger, as portrayed on The Simpsons, and Herman Cain. At least with respect to the relationship between leading and reading.

Hilarious.

Citizen Kane and The Simpsons

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Orson Welles's Citizen Kane, widely regarded to be one of the greatest movies ever made, if not the greatest, was released in theaters 70 years ago this week.

Much has been written about it, of course. I won't add anything here other than to say that while it isn't quite one of my favourite movies, it is undeniably an astonishing cinematic achievement and a truly great film. Does it deserve its critical accolades? Maybe, maybe not. I'd put Seven Samurai above it, among others, but anyone who pays attention to film, and truly loves film, must recognize its significance. At the time, it was entirely new, a ground-breaking movie that changed movies forever. Cinema in many ways still operates in its shadow.

If you haven't seen it... seriously, what are you waiting for? And if you have, I highly recommend watching it again with Roger Ebert's excellent commentary. It sheds light on just what makes it so great, and why even today, 70 years later, it is essential viewing.

I also recommend Nigel Andrews's recent piece at the Financial Times (reprinted at Slate). With an auteurist focus, it addresses Welles's accomplishment in all its grandeur.

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And these, below, come from a site called Actualidad Simpson, reposted here. (Check out Actualidad Simpson's amazing "Momentos de cine" page, featuring similar Simpsons comparisons to movies such as The Graduate, A Streetcar Named Desire, Vertigo, A Clockwork Orange, The Godfather, The Right Stuff, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Terminator 2 -- with many more from Citizen Kane. Make sure to click to subsequent pages -- "Página siguiente" at the bottom of each page.)

There was, you may recall, an entire Simpsons episode paying homage to Citizen Kane, with Mr. Burns as the Charles Foster Kane (Welles) character: "Rosebud" from Season 5, one of the best Simpsons episodes ever.

Brilliant movie. Brilliant show.

Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds: "Two Step"

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Up late tonight. I just finished watching The Story of a Cheat, the wonderful, marvellous masterpiece -- and instantly one of my favourite films, such a joy to watch -- from 1936 by French director Sacha Guitry, barely known these days but nonetheless a major influence, featured in Criterion's Eclipse #22, a must for any serious cinephile.

Flipping through the channels, I caught a recent Simpsons episode, a surprisingly very good one from Season 21 (with a wonderful Cinema Paradiso-esque kissing montage that includes one of the greatest film couples in recent movie history, Wall-E and Eve), and then landed on a Dave Matthews concert on HDNet (with Tim Reynolds at Radio City Music Hall in '07), which is just wrapping up. I'm generally mixed on Matthews. I admire him a great deal, and yet, aside from a few songs here and there, I just can't get into him, or at least not nearly as much as his incredibly ardent and devoted fans. I have several songs on my iPod, mostly from Everyday, a fine album with his band, but he really is much more impressive live (or in concert on TV) than on his albums. Actually, this is quite amazing. I don't think I've been this engaged with, or impressed by, a concert on TV since Arcade Fire on Austin City Limits.

Anyway, here are Matthews and Reynolds doing "Two Step," the brilliant (and brilliantly performed) last song of the show, originally from the DMB album Crash.

Texas should be kicked out of the Union (for turning education into un-American right-wing propaganda)

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Homer: And how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: That's because you were drunk!

Homer: And how.

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WaPo:

Historians on Tuesday criticized proposed revisions to the Texas social studies curriculum, saying that many of the changes are historically inaccurate and that they would affect textbooks and classrooms far beyond the state's borders. 

You think? Maybe the historians criticized them because the result isn't history but right-wing propaganda:

The changes, which were preliminarily approved last week by the Texas board of education and are expected to be given final approval in May, will reach deeply into Texas history classrooms, defining what textbooks must include and what teachers must cover. The curriculum plays down the role of Thomas Jefferson among the founding fathers, questions the separation of church and state, and claims that the U.S. government was infiltrated by Communists during the Cold War. 

Clearly, Texas is controlled by un-American elements that are, to a man (and woman), utterly insane -- even if what they're doing fits right in with the current truth-denying direction of American conservatism.

The only viable solution, it seems to me, is for Washington to rid the United States of the massive disease that Texas has become. Let it go, for America's sake as well as for its own. Then it can revise history to its heart's content, a heart flooded with venom.

(Or perhaps, to make some quick cash, Washington could sell Texas to the highest bidder. Maybe a gaggle of Russian oligarchs. Or maybe trade it -- say, to China for Tibet and some significant debt relief, which would be good both for the spirit and for the pocketbook. Or maybe to Spain for Catalonia and the Basque region. Think how much better American cuisine would be if foodie-haven San Sebastian and El Bulli were American -- and how much better American soccer would be with Barça on board. I'd certainly throw in, say, Rachael Ray to make that deal happen. Texas is way too valuable, you say, what with the oil and the cattle and the Dallas Cowboys and all? Fine. Then ask for Majorca, too, along with the collected works of Pedro Almodovar. Still not enough. Then target Javier Bardem and Penepole Cruz, as a couple. They're Oscar winners. America loves them. And they're hot.)

Otherwise, for a country supposedly so devoted to its founding, and that takes its history to be somehow providential, where, as they say, is the outrage?

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Simpsons quote, above, from the episode "Secrets of a Successful Marriage," Season 5. It first aired on May 19, 1994.

Where is Springfield?

By Michael J.W. Stickings

In the extraordinary "Behind the Laughter" episode, it is revealed that the Simpsons are from northern Kentucky. In other airings of the episode, northern Kentucky is replaced by southern Missouri. And yet, the show within the show here is an elaborate fabrication. As this interesting site concludes, after examining the evidence, episode by episode, the Simpsons' Springfield "does not exist" -- or, rather, it is not a Springfield that does exist, and there are many of them across the U.S. It exists "on your television" -- a town that is nowhere, and yet everywhere, just like the Simpsons themselves.

And yet the winner of a USA Today poll to determine which real Springfield would host the premiere of the soon-to-be-released Simpsons movie is:

Vermont!

Yes, Vermont, which narrowly beat out Illinois and Oregon.

Does this mean that the Simpsons' Springfield is in Vermont? Surely not. Springfield, Vermont, in my estimation, isn't quite all-American enough, or at least not as all-American as other Springfields. But no matter. It is the fictional Springfield that is the all-American town, and, again, it is everytown, everywhere.

But congrats to Vermont, a lovely place, for the victory.