Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Sign of the Apocalypse #11: Mariah, cultural pariah

Right now, at this moment, as I write, "Mariah Carey" is the #1 search at Technorati, ahead of "Karl Rove," "London," and "Tom Cruise" (all of which are in the top-10). Apparently, there are at least 34,217 posts about Mariah out there.

Ah, the blogosphere. Cultural democracy in action...

Oh, you like Mariah? Is that what you're telling me? Or you'd just like to know more about her? Well, let me help. Here's her official website for your amusement. You'll particularly enjoy the "Mariahisms," I'm sure. But now sing with me (you know you want to):

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Ah, such freakin' drama! Enough to make you sob (not laugh) all the way to the Apocalypse. Mariah's glass-shattering vibratos will lead the way...

Be good, readers, be good. (Bing bong, as Mariah would say.)

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