Friday, November 04, 2005

Sign of the Apocalypse #25: Jessica Simpson

The devil may be a commercialized seductress.

Jessica Simpson, images of whom I'm sure you can find out here on the internet, is a Sign of the Apocalypse all on her own.

Yes, I mean her very existence.

Her stardom just makes it worse.

As does her nauseating marriage to Nick Lachey, which seems to be on or off depending on how much manufactured media exposure she needs to prop up her completely unjustifiable stardom, which would quickly evaporate without said media exposure.

Not to mention her recent trip to therapy: "I respect knowledge of the psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren't an entertainer."

And moronic statements like this: "Hopefully mine and Nick's story will continue for the rest of our lives, like what we vowed, through sickness and in health."

Indeed, even her award-winning cleavage, the bosom that she thrusts into the public spotlight with such eager determination, seems like a desperate Siren call to direct attention her way.

How sad that so many of us can't hear Orpheus above her hideous wailing.

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