Ricky Don't Lose That Number

by Distributorcap

We see this GOP straw poll

It ain't OK

They thought your little debate time was not fun

I guess you kind of scared the 'baggers

They've turned and run

Seems they had a change of heart

Rikki you lost that number

You wanna call them heartless now

Say goodbye in a letter and take a bow

Rikki you lost that number

It won't be the only one and how

You might salvage some of career

when you get home

(with all due respect to Steely Dan)

When Rick Perry, the uber-governor from Texas (and latest savior of the Teabag set) entered the presidential race in mid-August, he made a very big splash. The media - which has made a very big deal about the dearth of stardom (hence their own ratings) from the Republican Presidential field - immediately began to genuflect at the temple of Perrydom. After all, Perry is the 3 time governor of the 2nd largest state in the union (albeit the weakness governor in the nation), has the movie star looks that will make the ladies (and men) in Redstateland pant with wanton desire and (to top it off) a demoralized America is pining for another Texas governor to sit in the White House (since the last one worked out so well). With the blessing (and non-stop attention) of the media, Perry immediately rose to the top of the heap (a heap of shit, but a heap nonetheless) in the the Republican field.

Despite the fawning of the media (after all they have their swashbuckling movie star sort of like the new Errol Flynn) it has been all downhill for the closet-case from Paint Creek, Texas.

Perry may have the movie star looks that lights up the screen (and Nielsen meters) of Fox News viewers, but behind the wrinkles and the expensive haircut is a lunatic without any semblance of a brain. Rick Perry is George Bush with a lower IQ. Rick Perry is Sarah Palin in a skirt. Yes, Perry has won the governorship of Texas three times. But in the past two decades, the state of Texas has basically become something akin to Texas SSR (what other kind of political entity would elect morons people like John Cornyn, Ron Paul, Louis Gohmert and Pete Sessions). In the world of Texas GOP fascism - no one dares challenge the Attila the Hun of the Lone Star state.

But on the national stage - Perry actually had to demonstrate more than machine politics. Texan handlers can easily hide a lot of the arrogance and idiocy stuck in that brain with their sway over statewide electoral boards and local media. But out in the other 49 - some of which are not nearly as Soviet as Texas - Rick Perry the movie star has not been Katharine Hepburn like in his performance, but more along the lines of Vera Hruba Ralston. The media which was so enchanted by the superficiality of Rick Perry at the outset - is beginning to find that airing his dirty laundry and shortcomings may actually help their ratings.

When Perry's performance in GOP Debate #3 proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a complete (and arrogant) buffoon who really is not ready for Primetime (or any time) - Governor Coiffed Case, the man who would be king of 234 executions, was not only criticized by his once-fawning main stream media, but also greeted with derision and jeers from the pundits (Bill Kristol and Ann Coulter of all people!) in his very own party.

With that in mind, Rick Perry staked a lot on the Florida straw poll that was held today, 2 days after his Carrot Top routine in Orlando. I am sure with these results, the Perry camp is NOT ordering a lot of pizza for celebration.

• Herman Cain: 37.11%
• Rick Perry: 15.43%
• Mitt Romney: 14.00%
• Rick Santorum: 10.88%
• Ron Paul: 10.39%
• Newt Gingrich: 8.43%
• Jon Huntsman: 2.26%
• Michele Bachmann: 1.51%

Ricky you could not have liked that number of 15.43%.  Send it off in a letter to your staff.

I guess his 2nd place showing is not as bad as Bachmann's dead last ranking (Bachmann won the other meaningless beauty contest last month in Iowa). But Our Man Perry lost to the pizza guy. The King of Texas could not beat the the King of Mozzarella. And on top of the pepperoni, he lost bad - very bad

Though it will be denied, pushed to the side and glanced over - Rick Perry is toast.

A tale told by an idiot

By Capt. Fogg 

Has Andrew Breitbart blown a fuse? He seems to be saying just that: raving strangely about shooting people and being under attack from "liberals." Perhaps that's true, since like most of that rabble without a cause calling themselves conservative these days, a liberal is anyone you disagree with, and if these dull-witted bastards agree with anyone, it's with other ignorant, deluded, dull-witted bastards. 

There are times when I'm not thinking as clearly as I should, and in those unclear moments, I always think to myself, "Fire the first shot. Bring it on." Because I know who's on our side,

he said to a group of people on his side of the border of sanity, or at least those capable of listening to this without calling 911. 

We outnumber them in this country and we have the guns... I'm not kidding. They talk a mean game, but they will not cross that line because they know what they're dealing with.

Perhaps he's not kidding, but sorry, the "we" he's talking about really don't have the numbers, and although I hesitate to tell him, they aren't the only ones with guns. The rest of us just don't wave them around and threaten other people with them so that we can get our way.

So what line are you talking about, Andy? What line won't I cross to defend my country, the truth, democracy, and common decency? I'm afraid I know exactly what I'm dealing with, and I'm not impressed.

But still, a threat of violence is a threat of violence, and I think it's worth noting that when the frustration involved in transporting the United States back to it's darkest years of poverty and exploitation gets to these people, when they find themselves confident in talking to people of like mind, the true colors come out -- and so do the guns. 

Andrew Breitbart isn't a conservative. Conservatives don't dream about, talk about, and apparently advocate starting violent revolutions, by definition, nor do most sane people under circumstances as we have today. Andrew Breitbart doesn't believe in democracy, because although revolution may speak from the muzzle of a gun, democracy does not, nor does it suppress votes, buy votes, and base political power on firepower, threats, or buying power.

I mean, what the hell is he so desperate about? He's got money, our federal taxes are the lowest in his lifetime, and it certainly wasn't witches or demons or liberals who started a war and refused to pay for it or, as Republicans nearly always do, escalated the debt beyond all reason. What content can anyone find in his barking and hissing? What can he explain other than to drone on and on about how liberals are that and conservatives are like a deranged dog chasing its tail. Argument by diktat, argument by amplitude, argument by lying, shifting his terms around like some street hustler with walnut shells.

Like most of these brats and hooligans and barroom bullies, all he wants is power: the kind of power that stems from divine right, hatred, and the wealth of Hades. The kind he has no qualification to hold and no following to elect him to. So sure, Andy, your friends have guns, that's the only way sad, depressing losers like you and them can get noticed: hate-shouting, gun-waving, witch-hunting, and all the rest of the bellicose bullshit you try to pass of as a cause. So sure, bring it on, show everyone what kind of spoiled, petulant, and democracy-hating bolshevik brat you are. I'm waiting.

Come out shooting and see how far the "liberals" let you get before you and the whole camo-clad, rebel-yell-shouting vermin get what you deserve.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

Apocalypse fer sure

By Capt. Fogg

Well folks, here it is again. The doomsday circus is back in town and guess what's happening in the big top in less than three days - that's right, it's the rapture and we're all gonna die screaming! OK, maybe some of y'all are actually Holy Smoke Church members and won't have to sit here through the tectonic shimmy, the lakes of fire and all the other rides while Jesus, like some Mexican wrestler with a gruesome mask is gonna kick some infidel ass, but not yours, Mr. camo pants. You get to go to the magic kingdom. You'll have to leave the truck behind, of course.

Yes, May 21, 2011 is right around the corner and Doomsday, as it has been countless times before, is almost here. For perhaps the first time however, these prophets have recognized that there are a dozen time zones and so Saturday at 6:00 PM, starting at the International Date Line out in the pacific, the apocalypse will march across the planet at a thousand miles per hour - boy can those horses move! That means we'll get to watch it all on TV as that Titanium robot, or whatever Jesus comes dressed as these days. kicks hell out of Asia and moves on toward Europe. That will give a lot of people her in God's own US of A enough time to convert and yes, you can do it on line through Paypal.

Not me though, It's going to be months before the planet is cleansed of disbelief and animal life and since the righteous will no longer be here, I get to grab their trailers and second hand pickup trucks and ATVs and firearms and stuff and me and the other heretics can shoot guns and barbeque like Ted Nugent. It's gonna be a hell of a party -- as long as the beer don't run out before that lake of fire thing.

Anyway, the Rapture should hit the fan at my house at 7:00 pm Eastern Daylight Time according to God's infallible plan and I'll be watching it all unfold from poolside and I'll have plenty of ice on hand. Perhaps I'll live-blog the whole thing. Stay tuned.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

Cities of the plain

By Capt. Fogg

There are people who give free speech a bad name, people who use any freedom the government protects to undermine and destabilize and overthrow that government and exploit the population -- and all for personal (and corporate) gain.

Such are the shadowy entities behind the multi-headed beast pumped into a frenzy by unaccountable and uncountable millions they get for the purpose: entities like SOCYBERTY.COM, whose recent post was sent to me by a breathless Republican eager to impart the secret knowledge that, no, President Obama did not give the order to enter Osama bin Laden's compound in Pakistan because he is a dithering, indecisive coward and the reins of government have been pried from his trembling, black hands. You see, Leon Panetta had to "override" Obama with the help of Cabinet members and that eye-rolling minstrel show clown is too afraid now to tell the truth. Holdouts like Valerie Jarfett aren't telling us either because of the "investigation back in Chicago," but there was a silent coup and Obama is no longer in control:

What Valerie Jarrett, and the president, did not know is that Leon Panetta had already initiated a program that reported to him –and only him, involving a covert on the ground attack against the compound.

Of course, no news agency, not ABC or NBC or FOX or CNN or BBC or Deutsche Welle or al freakin' Jazeera knows about this, only SOCYBERTY.COM and all the other PAC-funded heads of the same hydra who are cutting and pasting and posting these stories. Google it and you'll see. They have secret sources in the Cabinet, you know, who will commit treason only for them.

Sure, we can see it as the desperate death throes of a humiliated racist party, a wicked witch melting and hissing on the floor, but I can't forgive it and I can't forgive the people who e-mail it around the country like some titillating photo of some stoned starlet getting out of a limousine in a short skirt. I can't forgive, I can't forget, and while old Yahweh was willing to spare Sodom for the sake of ten good citizens, no God worth his scriptures would forgive a country that contained ten such unpunished liars as these.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

The Sweet Smell of Sour Grapes

by Distributorcap

I love the smell of racism sour grapes in May

 Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2003 - when President Bush declared "Mission Accomplished"

Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2011 - just before President Obama gave the order to invade his compound

Four months since the American population (well those that bothered to vote) opted to give the Teabag Republican party another chance to mess up America (after all 8 years of Bush, and 6 years of Congressional majorities was not enough) - it is quite apparent that the GOP (and their leaders patrons allies on the right like Fox, Rush, Koch Industries) have jumped right back to the future with same bag of one trick pony policies:

1. cut taxes for the rich
2. dismantle any social safety net for the not-so-rich

However, the brainiacs on the right have a new Prime Directive for their Federation of Nutjobs:

• 3) say anything and everything to disparage and ruin Obama.

As stupid as most Republican leaders are (and they are) - they are smart enough to realize that saying the most reprehensible, false and hateful things about President Obama is the one thing that will generate the most media attention.

In this short period of time - the lunatics Republicans in the House have managed to pass bills on abortion, eliminating Medicare, and subsidizing the insanely profitable oil companies. They have also managed to spend lots of money for an law firm to defend DOMA. What they haven't done of course is produce any sort of policy to help turn the economy around or set a path for job creation (but they do want to eliminate Unemployment - insurance that is, not real unemployment). On top of their complete ineffectiveness as a governing party and outright lies to the electorate, the lengths the Republicans will go to - to confirm their own self-aggrandized superior talent - is nothing short of incredible.

This includes some of the most utterly overtly disparaging and covertly racist things about Obama they can dream up or find in the Honolulu Hall of Records.

When President Obama announced the death of Osama bin Laden last Sunday, it brought the soap opera known as the All My GOPs to a new low in American history.

The words and thoughts that have been coming out of the mouths of the GOP/Right this week reminds me of Hitler in the bunker - despite a world crashing around them from their own insane policies - they will fight to the end to justify their own past actions no matter how wrong they were or how much they have destroyed in their wake.

It didn't take long before the usual cast of characters began their blatant and not-so-subtle trashing of the President for doing exactly what their hero, President George W. Bush, only wished he could have done.

Let's start with the King of Insanity himself - Glenn Beck. Beck called Obama's trip to Ground Zero "slimy" and "disgusting" on his radio show. Beck of course said that the visit to the WTC site was "shameless" and nothing more than victory lap and a political stunt.

Of course walking around the rubble of the collapsed towers with a bullhorn shouting " I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you! And the people -- and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon!" is a case study in subdued, classy behavior.

Next AT BAT is Andrew Card, Bush's former Chief of Staff. Card is a man obviously not playing with a full deck. Andy, who likes to give the appearance of moderation, thoughtfulness and integrity - proved this week that he is nothing more than Glenn Beck in a nicer suit.

In an interview with German newspaper Der Spiegel, Card said that Obama has "pounded his chest" too much over the death of Osama bin Laden, particularly by going to Ground Zero earlier this week, the site of the 9/11 attacks. "He can take pride in it, but he does not need to show it so much."

Of course landing on the deck of an aircraft carrier in a flight suit and declaring "Mission Accomplished" in front a giant banner hanging on the ship (before the mission is accomplished) was really a solemn ceremony meant to honor the victims on 9/11, and had nothing to do with politics.

All of us - liberal, moderate, conservative, non-political should get down on our knees and starting thanking whichever-god-you-want that the GOP never exploited 911 for political gain.

Card is an ass^nth - I wonder why he didn't give this same interview to an American paper - a little cowardly methinks. Card further stepped into Barney's poo when he said his issue is not with anything Obama has said about his decision to launch the raid on bin Laden's compound, but rather with Obama's actions. Amazing.

Next up in murderer's row is John Yoo - the world's biggest cheerleader for torture. The man who somehow see things in the Constitution that us mere mortals could not see and decided that the President (Republican only, not Obama) has the right to do anything he wants - anything. Yoo-hoo said that Obama had made a serious mistake by not capturing bin Laden and milking him for information on potential future terror attacks.

Of course Yoo's main man - Bush - is the one who said "Who knows if he’s hiding in some cave or not. We haven’t heard from him in a long time. The idea of focusing on one person really indicates to me people don’t understand the scope of the mission. Terror is bigger than one person. He’s just a person who’s been marginalized. I don’t know where he is. I really just don’t spend that much time on him, to be honest with you."

That was just the tip of the iceberg.  Other reactions from the GOP, teabaggers and those on the Right, while less obvious on the hate, are just as nauseating in their tone.

Rick "Man on dog" Santorum said "9/11 families and everybody else in America should be furious at this president that he’s walking abound taking credit for, you know, getting Osama bin Laden. He didn’t get Osama bin Laden! The president of the United States simply said — courageous act, give him credit for saying yes — but that’s all he did, is say yes. He didn’t do the hard work. The people he’s going after did the hard work. And that is an outrage."

David "I never met a politician I couldn't buy" Koch gave Obama zero credit for the successful mission, telling reporters, “I don’t think he contributed much at all.” Koch called the president “a hardcore socialist” and minimized his role in the operation, explaining, “All that Obama did was say ‘yea’ or ‘nay.’”

Trent Franks said on Frank Gaffney’s (another fine example complete whack-o racist) Secure Freedom Radio show, said "President Obama is too concerned with exploiting the issue for political reasons to do what’s necessary to protect this country”

Not to be left out of the party - the Princess of the North Country Sarah Palin never mentioned President Obama by name, instead she said, ‘We thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory.”  Nothing like a little revisionism to pepper up the plotlines.

Former hack mouthpiece to Commander Codpiece himself, Ari Fleischer, was more "polite," saying “both presidents deserve credit.”

What's interesting about the words from entitled folks like Beck, Card, Yoo, Santorum, Koch, Franks, Palin and Fleischer (not leave out Trump, Limbaugh, Krauthammer, Ingraham, Malkkkin, and others) is that none of them have ever learned the meaning of "graciousness." Imagine being Andrew Card or David Koch, supposedly mature adults (Palin and Beck are most definitely not mature adults), who never ever have to admit they have made a mistake or apologize. They can make all the racial insinuations against the President they want and due to their stance or clout (or money) never have worry about being called out on their evil.

In the GOP's world, no Black [Muslim, Kenyan, Socialist] man was ever supposed to be elected to the job they own (the Presidency) and then - OMG - beat them at their own game, with his own rules. This is exactly what this whole post-Nov 2008 GOP meltdown has been all about. This is also why the Republicans simply can not handle the truth about the past week. Koch, Santorum, Beck, and Palin are fine with Jamaican nannies and NBA centers, but a Black president protecting the security of the country - that is just way too much for such simpletons to process.

I wish these clowns on the right would stop with the euphemisms and just call him the "N-word" already. You just know that they are biting their tongues not to let it slip out. It's killing them that the Black/Muslim/Kenyan/Socialist President can succeed so spectacularly where they have failed so miserably.

The jealousy we are witnessing before our very eyes is a great plot device for Erika on All My Children - but is such an ugly emotion when coming from a bunch of incompetent and evil nincompoops bent on leading the country. They gushed over President Bush when he carried out a plastic turkey to the troops fighting the war he lied his way into - but can not even thank President Obama for taking out the man that killed 3,000+ innocents - and gave their Dear Leader the excuse he needed to go to war.

Anyone with half a brain can see how incredibly childish the right wing and Republican leadership has become - and the elimination of Osama bin Laden was just the straw that broke the elephant's back. I can only hope the very people that voted for these clowns also see it.

Somehow I doubt it.

Attention Teabag shoppers

By Distributorcap

Congratulations! Your insanity is only overshadowed by your stupidity -- you are sending foxes to the Congressional henhouse.

Today, the U.S. Senate voted on extending the Bush tax cuts for the middle class (or what is left of it) -- and not extending them for families earning over $250,000. It took 60 votes to break the filibuster (only in America does 60% equal a majority).

Guess what? With 41 Republicans (and some Democrats including Joe "the Douchebag" Lieberman), it did not pass.

So for those teabaggers out there who think these guys are on their side:

There are 100 senators, ALL of whom earn over or somewhat close to that $250,000 magical tax cutoff (the base salary is $174,000, and with the perks and other income they most come close). Income only tells half the story. What about net worth (the value of one's assets less liabilities and debt)?

• 84 are worth over $500,000
• 69 are worth over $1,000,000
• 28 are worth over $5,000,000
• 17 are worth over $10,000,000
• 3 are worth over $200,000,000 (Kohl, Kerry, Warner)

The median net worth (the mid-point) is $2 million. The average net worth is estimated to be $13,500,000 (Kohl, Kerry and Warner skew this).

These are the people "representing America" who get to  vote decide on the fate of tax cuts for "average American." These "everyday Americans" sit in a body that requires a 60% supermajority to get anything done, including the economic security of a majority of Americans.

For comparison sake:

The median net worth of an American household is $120,000. That is about 95% lower than the Senate median. The average net worth of an American household is $550,000 (folks like Gates and Buffet skew this number), but that is also about 95% lower than the Senate average.

So the average Senator is worth 95x the average American.

Let's just assume for a minute the mean and median income of the Senate is the base of $174,000 (it isn't, but lets be conservative). The median HH income in the U.S. is just under $50,000, 72% lower than the Senate. The average HH income is around $72,000 (again thank Gates and Buffet), 60% lower than the Senate.

As another point of reference, only 34% of American HHs earn over $65,000, 17% have incomes over $120,000, and under 3% have an income over $200,000.

Two-thirds of Americans live in HHs with incomes under $65,000! Who needs the break?

The nation (including the teabaggers) sit idly by as people who are worth 95x more than the average American household decide whether that typical American family will be able to pay their mortgage or rent, clothe themselves, heat their houses, or feed their kids. With this 60 vote supermajority, the Republicans, who have been adamant about continuing the tax cuts for everyone, including the uber-rich, are holding the extension of tax breaks hostage to 97% of the population -- who need every cent -- over a barrel to pay back the 3% who don't.

Note to teabaggers: The median net worth of the Republicans in the Senate is $4.1 million. The median net worth of the Democrats is $3.2 million.

And guess what? A big CHUNK of those 97% voted for those $4.1 million-assholes like Kyl, McCain, Corker, Inhofe, Grassley, and the King Anus of them off, Mitch McConnell. You get what you pay for.

Some more facts about the folks the Senate has decided to take hostage to ensure the welfare of the 3%:

• 83% of all U.S. stocks are in the hands of 1% of the people.
• 61% of Americans "always or usually" live paycheck to paycheck, which was up from 49% in 2008 and 43% in 2007.
• 66% of the income growth between 2001 and 2007 went to the top 1% of all Americans.
• 36% of Americans say that they don't contribute anything to retirement savings.
• 43% of Americans have less than $10,000 saved up for retirement­.
• 24% of American workers say that they have postponed their planned retirement age in the past year.
• Over 1.4 million Americans filed for personal bankruptcy in 2009, which represente­d a 32% increase over 2008.
• Only the top 5% of U.S. HHs have earned enough additional income to match the rise in housing costs since 1975.
• For the first time in American history, banks own a greater share of residentia­l housing net worth in the U.S. than all individual Americans put together.
• In 1950, the ratio of the average executive'­s paycheck to the average worker's paycheck was about 30 to 1. Since the year 2000, that ratio has exploded to between 300 to 500 to one.
• The GDP has risen by 67% since 1980, while the median HH income has risen by only 15%

And we wonder why there is a economic mess in this country. Look who is deciding policy, people who have ZERO stake or ZERO experience in the struggle of 300,000,000 people, including the teabaggers who have insanely enabled this to go on.

So, when do we restore sanity?

By Capt. Fogg

OK, so you think my last post was petty, or over the top and just plain silly? You think the country hasn't lost any connection with reality and we haven't turned into gap-toothed, tattooed, and camouflage-clad Chatty Kathy dolls who squawk the same old tinny phrases when anything at all pulls the string? You think that objective, fact-based, and reasoned perceptions aren't more rare than raisins in some off brand breakfast cereal?

CNN.com is running a story today about a countrywide federal crackdown on sex traffic in underage girls. This federal initiative began in 2003, but, according to the kind of people who post comments, child prostitution is Barack Obama's fault. And not just that -- Obama likes people to abuse young girls. You see, some of the culprits were from Somalia where most people are black and nominally Muslim. Obama's father was from Kenya, which is on the same continent as Somalia. Therefore, Obama is a Muslim and a child molester who wants to protect child molesters.

I realize it's fashionable amongst liberals who aren't scientists to say that IQ means nothing, but it certainly does. If yours is above room temperature, you'll question the presence of "therefore" anywhere in that statement. You won't see it as the fair and balanced "other side" of the story.

The inability to see that this string of pronouncements doesn't even superficially resemble a logical or factual progression seems more than prima facie evidence of congenital and irredeemable idiocy. I'm sorry to sound all Democrat here, but there's something wrong in making it hard for a brain surgeon to get a green card while allowing massive political power to people who only resemble human beings in that they walk on two legs -- and rising to power by riding their wave of idiotic anger. 

John1865 

This is absolutely Obama's fault. The Democrats want illegal's in our country, so they can get their votes. We need to unite and close our borders.

jake1111

And to think.. This is what Obama wanted to protect and even proposed a law suit on Arizona to protect these monsters!.. Remove this man ASAP!

jake1111

This still wont stop it. We must stop the Obamaism of protecting radical Muslims, Ilegal immigrants etc and remove all illegals from this country ASAP!

BobMD

Isn't third-world immigration just great for our society? Our culture gets enriched with third-world customs like child prostitution.

pemch

These f-gg-ts should be put behind bar for life.

OK, so that's enough. I don't have to tell you (if you're not a Republican dupe) that illegals don't vote, Obama isn't trying to support sex crimes, especially by arresting the offenders and isn't encouraging immigration by deporting half a million illegals every year. I just put in the last one to show the total disrespect for reality it takes to suppose that male homosexuals really want to rape girls. I left out the one suggesting that all people who have a pension [sic] for young girls should be executed because it's a form of murder even though the victims were rescued alive.

No, all the comments aren't insane, at least not completely, but some of the sane ones claim that the courts don't have mandatory sentencing, which of course is nearly as grotesquely stupid as blaming Obama because there were some Somali pimps involved while ignoring the demonstrable fact that the current administration is deporting half a million immigrants a year, which is far, far more than the Republican administration did. And then there's the fact that the current administration actually rounded up these folks, which makes it hard to wrap one's mind around the assertions that the federal government cannot do anything and should do even less.

No, Obama doesn't want to import and support foreign organized crime, isn't encouraging illegal immigration and in fact it's the Republicans who are protecting companies who hire them. No, child prostitution isn't a previously unknown import, although many of the victims are and if anyone insists that Obama is "protecting radical Muslims" by rounding up, prosecuting and jailing criminals, perhaps it's time to deport such folks or have them committed to mental institutions. But you know, there's a certain party who loves the insane zeal, loves the cognitive disabilities and yes, the insanity and, don't give me any more bullshit about Democrats are just as bad -- they're not -- and you all know damned well people who post comments like these call themselves conservatives.

Our founding fathers certainly weren't deluded enough to equate liberty with rule of the most manic. Where is the protest? And who is it shouting "elitist" when any shy suggestion is made that, despite the neo-Maoist sentiments of the tea baggers, dumb people say dumb things and make bad leaders and bad voters. And OK, let's be fair and ask who enables and encourages them by being all cute and not voting "in protest" because Obama didn't leave you the present you wanted for Christmas? Yes, you're damned right it's your fault too.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

Yes Virginia, there is a Ganja Clause

by Distributorcap

"Ginny, I'm sorry your husband got his pubes on my coke."

Last week Virginia Thomas, the teabagging wife of one of the most incompetent Supreme Court Justices in history - Clarence Thomas, called Anita Hill and asked her to apologize to her husband for her "false and misleading" testimony during his confirmation hearings.

Hearings that were held in 1991. Nineteen years ago.

To be brief, Ms. Hill was dragged in front of Congress (she did not want to testify) during the Thomas hearings and told the sitting senators (including Vice President Biden) that Clarence Thomas had sexually harassed her while she worked for him as a clerk. The testimony was explosive and graphic - complete with coke cans, pubic hairs and pornography.

Ms. Hill was treated abominably and publicly humiliated by the Senate (especially Arlen Specter) and basically called a liar. In the end, Thomas was confirmed by a vote of 52-48. Later on, Senator John Danforth, who sponsored Thomas - said he regretted how the Senate treated Hill.

It goes without saying, Virginia Thomas' recent actions are nothing short of bizarre, inappropriate and truly delusional. Dredging up the past at this point, leaving a message like that on an answering machine and calling at 645am - none of this rings of a shred of common decency or normal behavior.

But remember Virginia Thomas is an activist teabagger who is married to one very angry man (read excerpts from his book). The fact that a Supreme Court justice's (albeit a pitiful excuse for a justice) wife is a conservative activist smacks of major conflicts of interest. But in this age of no-accountability and anything-to-win, none of this comes as a surprise.

So yes Virginia, there is a Ganja Clause* all for you.

(sung to "Do You Hear What I Hear?")

Said the teabag nut to the College Prof,

"I don't see what you see"

Not upon the can of Coke, College Prof

"I don't see what you see"

What pube, What pube, taped upon the can

From a dong as long as John

From, a dong as long as John."

Said the College Prof to the teabag nut,

"Did I hear what you said?"

Ring my phone at 6am, teabag nut

Did I hear what you said?"

Apologize, admit I made it up

Your nerve tis big as Long John Dong,

You should throw away that bong.

Said the teabag nut to the silent judge,

"Did I do the right thing?

You were lynched, you did no act

Did I do the right thing?

Our prez, Our prez, A socialist in fact

You nine should force to show proof of birth

Or this country will leave the Earth

Said the College Prof to the FBI

"Listen to what she said!

An olive branch to admit your guilt ,

Listen to what she said!

The 'baggers, the 'baggers, insane up to the hilt

They will bring us sadness to mourn

While he will bring us nothing but porn.

This is the cost of allowing ultra-conservatives to mainstream their psychoses. Ginny Thomas' behavior is consistent with the rightwing belief that they are better and always right - that even behavior anb average person would deem offensive is owed an apology from people they see beneath them.

*Ganja Clause - a mythical figure said to visit stoners that have been good in the last year. Ganja Claus is most often pictured as a jolly old rasta with long dredlocks, dressed head to toe in green. He flies through the sky on a lawn chair pulled by 8 giant sloths.

Reading is Fundamental

by Distributorcap

By now, everyone knows about the house in Tennessee that burned to the ground because the owners did not pay the fire protection fee. So while Rome burned, the firemen stood helpless - ordered not to put out the fire over an unpaid $75 municipal charge.

This is Ayn Rand on steroids - every John Galt for himself. Darwinian psychology in overdrive - survival of the fittest (or rather the richest and most well-connected). Government a la carte. Public services that are hated so much that everything is turned into a private enterprise - even at the expense of a normal society.

We could argue the merits of a large and sprawling public works - managed by a large and sprawling bureaucracy. We can also argue the problems and pitfalls of the nanny state and an over-reaching legislature.

What we can't argue is that the underlying premise of government is to keep order,civility and provide for a safe and secure country. That safety and security is not limited to fighting useless wars and preventing those nasty turrorists from flattening buildings. It also includes the simple things like putting out fires and protecting citizens with adequate public health.

You want a private fire department that only serves if you pay? How do you plan on stopping a fire from spreading from your neighbor who didn't feel like pay their fee. You want health care only if you can afford it? How do you plan on protecting yourself from people walking around with communicable diseases like tuberculosis and influenza - spreading them like the bubonic plague to those who do have health insurance.

Certain basic needs shouldn't even be questioned. But the angry mobs of the right have taken Ayn Rand to the extreme - that government is good for nothing, that the individual rules, that it really is every teabagger for himself. Problem is even  - the ultra-Rand mentality is only a a facade to what is really happening - what realy runs the show on the right are corporations and puppet masters like the Koch Brothers who use their incredible wealth (since they don't use it to invest or create jobs) to keep the status quo working for them. All the time they are deluding the teabag crowd into thinking this concept of rugged individualism and the Marlboro man is going to make them the next billionaire.  Good luck.

There is nothing like a good book to cuddle up when your house is burning down.  For your reading pleasure:

Maybe he teabaggers and Christian Fundamentalists can use those unattended house fires that will burn out of control for one of their other purposes - burning the books they so want to eliminate.

Arcade Remedies

by Distributorcap

You have to hand it to the right and the teabaggers - they bring the definition of fickle to a new level. While one side of their recti mouths talk about being "strict constitutionalists" and how "activist jurists" are ruining the country, the other side talks about changing (or rather just getting rid of) amendments that do not fit their vision of 21st century lebensraum.

We can make this easy for the teabaggers. Lets take the Amendments that they find problematic like:

• 1st - with that pesky freedom of religion clause allowing a terrorist shrine mosque to be built in lower Manhattan
• 14th - with the annoying definition of citizenship clause allowing all those illegals to give birth here
• 17th - with the anachronistic law that gives the people direct election of their Senators
• Commerce Clause - with that ridiculous law that gives Congress power to regulate the economy
  

and line them up in the Constitutional Shooting Gallery. The we can have the absolute, cannot-be-touched, well-defined and non-negotiable 2nd Amendment "get rid of" the ones they don't like - using Sharron Angle's 2nd Amendment Remedy as the game plan.

If you take out all four with four shots, you win a Grizzly Mama.

The Usual Suspects

by Distributorcap

There was plenty of insanity to go around this week, most of it from the usual suspects.

1. Several prominent Republicans (who apparently all failed algebra) keep claiming that continuing tax cuts for the wealthiest 2% of Americans will not increase the deficit. After all, every time you give a rich person a tax cut, an Angel gets a Tiffany watch.

2. Elisabeth Hasselback (who apparently had her brain voted off the island on Survivor) stated that the reason middle age women "become gay" is because middle age men are only interested in younger women. So I guess we can expect another 10,000,000 single and widowed women to run out and buy Melissa Ethridge albums.

3. Sarah Palin (who apparently enjoys proving she is one of the dumbest people to ever be born) complained about Obama going on The View. Then again, maybe Palin has a point, since Obama had to be in the same room as Hasselback.

4. Oliver Stone (who apparently has been palling around with Mel Gibson) called the media "Jewish dominated" and said the Nazis did far more damage to the Russians than the Jews. Stone has also stated that Hitler was a scapegoat. As a note, Oliver Stone is Jewish.

5. Zack Wamp (who apparently left his heart in the Potomac) joined the chorus of the "warm-hearted" right said this about the unemployed "...And this is creating a culture of dependence which we do not need. We want people out there scraping and clawing and looking for work and not just sitting back waiting...." Yep, because with those $350 checks, those lazy welfare queens can buy 350 lottery tickets.

6. Lindsay Graham (who apparently will do anything to get the Teabaggers on his side) wants to rewrite the 14th Amendment, overturning the clause that says anyone born on US soil is a citizen. Unmarried, childless, "I am not gay" Lindsay Graham wants to change a portion of the constitution having to do with children.

7. Michael Clemente, Senior Vice President of News for Fox News (who apparently can sleep at night despite the fact his job is contributing to the decline and fall of America) claimed there was a breakdown in the "system" by allowing the Shirely Sherrod story to get on air before it was properly vetted. Yep - there was a breakdown - they got caught in propagating the lie this time.

8. The Iowa GOP (who apparently did not talk to Orly Taitz) wants to strip Obama of his US citizenship for accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. What I want to know, is how the Iowa GOP is going to do this considering Obama is Kenyan born Muslim socialist who doesn't even have a green card.

9. Congress (who apparently really live in a Video Game) took weeks to find $33 billion to help 2.5 million Americans fighting to keep food on their tables, but took about an hour to to find $60 billion to help Americans fight 50 Al-Qaeda members in Afghanistan.

10. The Department of Defense (who apparently hired Arthur Andersen as their accountants) cannot account for 96% of the $9 billion dollars it allocated to Iraq for reconstruction. They might not be able to account for it, but i would bet $8.1 billion that Halliburton and a few other choice firms can.

11. Tom Tancredo (who apparently still hates immigrants) wants to impeach Obama. Get in line Tom, so does every other person in Congress and will undoubtedly begin proceedings if they take back the House.

12. Phyllis Schlafly (who apparently is still alive) said ""Unmarried women, 70% of unmarried women, voted for Obama, and this is because when you kick your husband out, you've got to have big brother government to be your provider." Maybe Schlafly should listen to Hasselback, and allow those women to marry each other.

Have a little tea with Ted

By Capt. Fogg 

Ted Nugent -- Where do I begin? Where does it end?

Obama is not only spitting on the Constitution, but the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule. It's hard to see the evidence and it's hard to know why he was silent about the unprecedented abuses during the Bush administration, unless we conclude that he's either psychotic, or a lying son of a bitch. The former seems certain, but of course much of it could also be attributable to ignorance. That he believes all Americans are commanded to worship Yahweh alone and keep a Kosher household and that the government is remiss in not enforcing this, can only be attributed to insanity - if indeed he believes or is even aware of anything he says.

I confess that I can't find any way to fit that old Golden Rule thing into the equation but for the fact that he's treating our basic institutions with extreme contempt while asking for something different than a government of laws and not of mobs for himself and his fellow tea heads. He certainly can't be saying that we shouldn't invade other countries or bomb civilians or overthrow elected governments because we don't want it done to us, because his favorite presidents are as famous for it as he is in being silent about them. Again, only rank insanity balances that equation.

With the Mao Zedong fan club in the White House, a clueless, rookie president hellbent on spending like a maniac as unprecedented debt piles up all around him, and every other imaginable indicator of an America turned upside-down, it comes as no surprise that this insane level of madness has metastasized into a Supreme Court where the Bill of Rights is being trashed by clueless, dangerously insulated old people intentionally disconnected from the real world, 

he says to Insanity Hannity about the dissenting vote on the Chicago handgun ban. I suppose he thinks Obama appointed those judges and that this hasn't been a contentious issue for a lifetime or two. But who knows what he thinks or if he thinks when he wraps himself in the flag and spews his tea at us. Surely it isn't often or deeply since he claims that Martin Luther King is his mentor and yet he's fond of shooting machine guns in his back yard.

Certainly it's more than hyperbole and more than just ignorance to call the administration a Mao Zedong fan club, certainly it's more than mere hypocrisy to blame Obama for trying to do what FDR did to ease the Depression and to ignore the fact that each and every Republican administration, at least from Reagan onwards, has set new levels of government size, expense, corruption, spending and borrowing while the Democrats haven't. But this is Ted speaking: Ted the flag waving teabagger who claimed to have been clean and sober all his life when talking to the Fox mob but to have dodged the draft by smoking Meth when talking to Rolling Stone -- and then tells us that he was lying to them but telling us the truth.

This is Ted blaming Obama for going after his massive arsenal of weapons when he didn't and the Court for banning them when it didn't. This is Ted telling us he is the will of the people, free elections and a majority vote to the contrary. This is the devil in a cowboy hat. This is horseshit wrapped up in a flag like some foul taco. This is just the failure they warned our founding fathers about.

Indeed, where do we begin with the Ted Nugent story when Ted Nugent himself says he's a liar and an addict and doesn't know MLK from Chuck Manson or Mao Zedong from a wishy-washy middle of the road conservative? I don't know. I don't know where the teabag story ends either but it certainly doesn't end in a free, democratic country.



(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

A station wagon full of nuns

By Distributorcap

You would think by now, most same people wouldn't be surprised by the gems that come out of Pat Buchanan's mouth. Yesterday good old grumpy Uncle Pat proved that he still has one more sparkling commentary in him that is both purely disgusting and insanely moronic at the same time. In his latest piece of "deep thought," Pat (on his blog) writes the following (barf bags supplied upon request):

Indeed, of the last seven justices nominated by Democrats JFK, LBJ, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, one was black, Marshall; one was Puerto Rican, Sonia Sotomayor. The other five were Jews: Arthur Goldberg, Abe Fortas, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Stephen Breyer and Elena Kagan.

If Kagan is confirmed, Jews, who represent less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, will have 33 percent of the Supreme Court seats.

Is this the Democrats' idea of diversity?

Pat, your thoughtful words have proven once again you have an uncanny ability to explain the nuances of diversity. Let's put some Pat-math to all your insight. Using a simple algorithm, the above list comes to (excuse me for the language) 5 kikes, a spic and a nigger. With all this hard work Pat, you are being awarded the prestigious James Watt Memorial Medal for Diversity. For not since Mr. Watt uttered the line "...a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple" as Secretary of the Interior under St. Ronnie, has anyone come close to describing the nuances of "government for the people." Despite the fact that the Democratic choices are one woman over, a little heavy on the Jews and missing the cripple, your foresight into the inner workings of how the Democrats practice diversity are (like hand grenades and horseshoes), close enough for the win.

Pat then drivels on about the religion of the Supreme Court nominations from his hero (and employer, and anti-Semite) Richard Nixon through Bush the Younger.

George W. Bush chose John Roberts, a Catholic; Harriet Miers, the first Evangelical Christian of our era; and Sam Alito, the second Italian Catholic.

Racism has to be hard-wired in some people. Like most other hard-right conservative brainless wonders (Sarah Palin and her belief in the divine right of this as a Christian nation, quickly comes to mind), Pat probably hasn't taken a look at the parts of the Constitution that they want to pretend do not exist - like Article VI:

...no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.

This wasn't Pat's first step into the dogshit of conservative hate mongering. Earlier in the week Pat was very proud of his knowledge that women who play softball are of a certain ilk.

Women's softball has been associated with lesbians and being gay for a long time. That's sort a signal like two men sunbathing together on a beach or something like that. The immediate implication is that they're gay.

And only last summer, when Sonia Sotomayor was nominated to the bench by Presidnet Obama, Pat brought this previously unknown fact of history to life:

White men were 100% of the people that wrote the Constitution, 100% of the people that signed the Declaration of Independence, 100% of the people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg, probably close to 100% of the people who died at Normandy. This has been a country built basically by white folks.

An empty mind is truly the playground for people like Pat.

While Pat is railing on about the Supreme Court now being 33% Jewish (and 33% women, and 33% from New York - two other facts that must make his blood boil), he doesn't seem to care that the other 6 justices are all Catholic. That is 67% of the court in a country that is 25% Catholic. I call that diversity. However Pat should be relieved to know that 44% of the SCOTUS is comprised of scary activist wingnut morons -- Roberts, Alito, Thomas, and Scalia -- about the same as the make-up of the country today. (What is very troubling is the fact 100% of the Supreme Court is tied to Harvard or Yale).

Maybe if Congress uses the Kagan hearings as the latest incarnation of the Inquisition, Pat would be a bit less ornery. While it is not for me to say if there are too many Jews, Catholics, softball players, New Yorkers or Coca-Cola drinkers on the Supreme Court, I will say there are way too many people like Pat Buchanan on the planet.

As for the station wagon full of nuns, when Archie Bunker gets into a car accident and "hurts" his back, he thinks he can sue and collect. Archie searches the phone book for the best Jewish lawyer and hires the firm of Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz and Rabinowitz. At first he protests when he gets one of the "gentile" lawyers in the firm. When he finally gets one of the Rabinowitzes, the elderly lawyer refuses the case because but there is a "station wagon full of nuns" that will prove Archie is lying about what happened.

I guess to the right, the Supreme Court needs to be Archie Bunker's station wagon full of nuns.

What's in a name?

By Capt. Fogg

After listening to the self-contradictory, incoherent, quasi-literate and massively hate-packed rhetoric emanating from CPAC, where we were told that the concept of progress was a Marxist idea, that Progressives wanted to progress toward Communism. Liberals were the enemy of freedom and most insane of all: "Royalists" It's hard to hold on to any hope that what's left of the American Right retains even a rudimentary grasp on reality or any commitment to any ideal in any way related to Democracy and the Rights of Man. Taxes are Communism, protection of the rights of minorities is Communism, secular democracy is communism, but collusion between corporations and government isn't, as Mussolini defined it, Fascism -- it's freedom.

A party that won a solid majority in a free election is an "insurgency." Teddy Roosevelt, his opponent Woodrow Wilson and Adam Smith are all Communists who tried to destroy us and Glenn Beck got what he calls a "free" education, not by attending any private school, but by using taxpayer funded, government owned resources at the public library. Yes those of us who have pushed through legislation that finally allowed women and minorities to vote or own property or live like free men and women are simultaneously Nazis, Bolsheviks, Trotskyites, Maoists, and yes -- Royalists. Those of us who think vast sums of corporate money are corrupting the system are any wildly preposterous political epithet that comes to mind, but also Communists, Marxists, Trotskyites and the kinky sex partners of the Taliban. That they're not calling non-Republicans Irridentists or Scrooby Separatists is only the result of their neglected education, but of course those things are only another form of Marxist Islamofascism and Trotskyite lesbo-Feminism with a bit of Royalism thrown in for flavour.

"Protect our precious Medicare?" Well that's not communism even tough it and Social Security were until the country voted for health care reform. Why? because Obama is a Fascist follower of Pol Pot, trying to corrupt our youth and a Communist, Muslim, illegal alien, soft-on-terrorism, cannibal none the less - and because any hateful insanity must be true if it vilifies Obama - he's a Royalist.

No accusation is too ludicrous whether it contradicts all the other accusations or not. It' s not important to make sense or to tell the truth; it's only important to pump up the accusations, pump up the hate.

After listening to John Yoo describe a Republican justice department according to which, an American president like the one he served has more power than any European Monarch did in the age before Democracy, including the right to wage wars, internal and foreign, suspend civil rights, amend laws, refuse to obey laws, to lie, misrepresent and fabricate and to justify any action by Presidential fiat, it's hard to believe we're not simply listening to cross talk between parallel but vastly different universes. Is it legal for the President to order that the testicles of an innocent child be crushed to make his parent talk? But of course says Professor Yoo! Do as the President says shall be the law -- but we're Royalists all the same.

It's not so much that the Republicans seem to have defined conservative values as Marxist and indeed almost everything including evil itself as its opposite, they're inventing their own paranoid psychotic reality permeated by gibbering, drooling and incoherent rage, it's that we're not in open revolt against them; that they have a huge, armed and vastly wealthy base of support.

And we just sit and listen.

(Cross posted from Human Voices)