Laughing and crying with Victoria Jackson

By Frank Moraes

(Ed. note: I would note that Victoria Jackson seems to use Twitter as an Tourette-style outlet for her right-wing diarrhea. Among other things, she has been calling for secession: "Better to SECEDE than have a Civil War." Yes, the conservative mind in action. -- MJWS)

There is something in the water over at SNL and it ain't LSD. Or maybe it is. That would kind of explain the likes of Dennis Miller, Jon Lovitz, and especially Victoria Jackson. On election night, she had a bigger meltdown than most conservatives, claiming that she couldn't stop crying. And for good reason: "America died." On the badness scale, that is one notch below, "Music died." What especially sucks is there is no cool song to go along with it.

That evening Jackson also tweeted the now infamous, "Thanks a lot Christians for not showing up. You disgust me." Can't you just feel that Born Again love? You know what Jesus said, "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who votes Democratic to enter the kingdom of God." So suck it all you America-hating commie bastards!

And in this vein, Jackson tweeted yesterday morning, "Obama's policies (communism) PUNISH the Responsible and REWARD the Irresponsible." This was following from a tweet last night in which she spread her Christian love:

Obama's policies (communism) PUNISH the Responsible and REWARD the Irresponsible.
— Victoria Jackson (@vicjackshow) November 13, 2012

Don't get the wrong idea here: Victoria Jackson is not racist. You know this because of that caveat. It's not that white people are better, it's just that they tend that way—statistically! It's just science. Like The Bell Curve. It's not like she wants to kill non-whites; they're just like Christians; you know: disgusting.

But perhaps we are too harsh on the once talented Ms. Jackson. She has known tragedy. Her first husband -- fire-eater Nisan Mark Eventoff -- left her, because it is apparently easier to swallow fire than Victoria's bullshit. And her two daughters are rumored to have died recently of extreme cases of shame and embarrassment. Jackson is apparently immune.

On her Twitter desciption, Victoria Jackson lists simply, John 16:33. For those of you not up on your Bible, John is the anti-Semitic Gospel. Not that I'm saying Jackson is anti-Semitic. Like most loon Christians, she probably loves the Jews because they are necessary to the Second Coming. After that they can burn in hell, of course. Anyway, here's the verse:

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

I'm fond of this verse, because it calls on Christians to chill the fuck out. And they used to! It is only recently that the Religious Right rose up and decided they should work to make their perfect biblical government here on earth. This is why they get so angry at the radical Islamists: they're competition.

I find it a little sad that Victoria Jackson could be doing all of this as an art form: political satire. It disturbs me that she is clearly not. She is all too typical of her species of born-again Christianity that seems to think Jesus was Joseph McCarthy plus magic tricks. Reading Jackson's comments is one of those rare activities where you truly don't know whether to laugh or cry.

(Cross-posted at Frankly Curious.)

Still lyin' after all these years

By Capt. Fogg

So lyin' Bill is still at it. I don't go looking for his wisdom any more than I go around opening manhole covers looking for a pleasant smell, but sometimes you just stumble into it - like you might step into some dog shit on the sidewalk. Anyway, here we have him again running his foul mouth for his foul audience hoping to promote evil and ugliness and hate wherever he can -- and get rich from doing it.

So Barack Obama hates half the country, says O'Reilly -- the white half, of course, because even though the only family he ever knew was white, he must hate white people because he's black -- even though he's every bit as white as he is black, unless of course the old Confederate, secessionist USA-hating bigots like Lyin' Bill are right that one drop of "black" blood means you're black and inferior. Old Confederate, secessionist bigots like Lyin' Bill must think that "black blood" is mighty powerful stuff though, if one drop of it can pollute an ocean of whiteness and all the superiority it conveys. Lyin' Bill must believe in "black power"! Whattaya know!

But Dennis Miller, that other Fox bastard who, back when he was funny and before he sold his soul for a buck-thirty-seven used to try to impress us all with his brilliance and erudition and vocabulary is reduced to making a living with pusillanimous persiflage for the amusement of the stupidest fraction of mediocre American minds by bantering with Bill would none the less opine that he seeth not the anger of blackness but the haughtiness of the educated. Fox and grapes, Dennis? Nobody thinks you're smart or funny anymore.

So they're back to this -- still at this, since every factual seeming accusation has been erased like grafitti under the blast from a power washer. The face numbers, the fake stories, the false identification with George Bush's blunders misdeeds, blunders and frauds -- it all has a shelf life and perhaps the lies have gone past it and are beginning to spoil and so it's back to racists and Bolshevik class warfare: he's a racist, he's a snob, he's consumed with hate (just like us).

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)

Dennis Miller, sinking further into irrelevance (and right-wing extremism), endorses Herman Cain

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Whatever.

Remember when this guy was funny?

Although I suppose it's funny, in a pathetic sort of way, for someone who takes himself so seriously as a right-wing icon to endorse a bigoted Tea Party wacko like Cain, a completely unprepared candidate who has zero chance of winning.

From Saturday Night Live to the Herman Cain fundraising trail.

Good times.