What a Doocebag!

By Capt. Fogg

With a name like Doocy, one probably grows up with countless attempts to make fun of one's surname. I doubt I could come up with a new one, but why ridicule the man's name when you can stand by and watch him smear it himself, making himself the idiot's action figure, the bobble-head doll of arrogant, self righteous religious authority and enemy of everything the United States ever stood for or was supposed to stand for and still pretends to be all about.

Yes, I'm talking about religion again, and I sure as hell wish you would too, because that bundle of authoritarian offal with a cross stuck on it stinks so bad I'm sure you could smell it on the moon. Where is the resistance to this endless calumny, this unceasing assault on our freedom, in our classrooms, our meeting places, our legislative assemblies?

On Fox today (where else?), Stevie the Dooce made fun of religious freedom and our protection against official state religions by mocking Pennsylvania State Representative Babette Josephs (D) for declining to recite that nauseating formula declaring the United States of America to be what it's constitutionally forbidden to be: under God.

Good for her, and like her I haven't dignified that "Satanic Verse" since the Republicans shoved it up the national ass in 1954, taking time out from their struggle to keep the "coloreds" in their place and making sure the races didn't mix. Time out from making sure people lost their jobs because of their politics.

I wonder if she refuses to use money because money has "In God We Trust" on it?

chortled the coiffed and polyestered Doocy through three quarters on an inch of pancake makeup; totally forgetting a legendary tantrum of a certain Jewish agitator concerning money with God written on it being in the Jerusalem Temple, but like so many of these Christian pretenders, hiding behind some perverted pretense they call "faith" as they hide their inner secrets behind stage makeup, behind patter and persiflage with their scummy Fox familiars, he's an enemy of almost anything good, anything that stands for freedom, for respect, for kindness, decency, democracy, and, yes, American values and American law.

Is that schoolgirl giggling supposed to make us forget or be embarrassed by the fact that neither citizens nor their elected officials may be required to make religious oaths? No, Doocebag, I don't trust your God, and if I had the opportunity to shove the Constitution and a Gutenberg Bible sideways up your gaping anus I would feel like an instrument of justice and a defender of America. Do you wipe your foul ass with the Constitution because it has that Establishment clause? Do you pay for sex with money that has God on it?

I almost expect blood to ooze from beneath my fingernails as I try to avoid the most obscene and vulgar maledictions against Doocy and his gibbering boyfriend Brian Kilmeade, foul-mouthed imprecations and excrement-encrusted execrations against that evil Republican empire that employs them to eat at the heart of America like a parasitic worm. It's hard to do and words come to mind, thoughts I don't dare to mention. Yes, it's hard not to dream of these evil men being in fact under some angry God -- like a dead, oozing cockroach under an iron boot heel.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)