Keeping a scorecard
By Carl
* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, it's a quintessential American story.
__________
* If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
__________
* Graduate from Harvard law School, you're unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
__________
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
__________
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress a few months later, you're a Christian.
__________
* If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control and how to avoid sexual predators, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
__________
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude," with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
__________
* If you eat arugula, the single most consumed leafy vegetable in the nation, you're elitist.
* If you own your own tanning bed in your mansion, you're an average American.
(Cross-posted to Simply Left Behind.)
* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, it's a quintessential American story.
__________
* If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
__________
* Graduate from Harvard law School, you're unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
__________
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
__________
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress a few months later, you're a Christian.
__________
* If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control and how to avoid sexual predators, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
__________
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude," with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
__________
* If you eat arugula, the single most consumed leafy vegetable in the nation, you're elitist.
* If you own your own tanning bed in your mansion, you're an average American.
(Cross-posted to Simply Left Behind.)
Labels: 2008 election, Barack Obama, John McCain, Sarah Palin
posted by Carl at
3:00 PM
4 Comments:
To me one of the funniest things is how the always anti-union GOP boasts about the First Dude being a card-carrying member of the United Steel Workers.
By
Edward Copeland, at 7:03 PM
That was hilarious, actually, when Palin mentioned it during her speech. It's like no one in the crowd knew how to respond. And then when she claimed she's taken on the oil industry -- a total misrepresentation, of course -- well, Dick Cheney's GOP was just plain shell-shocked.
By
Michael J.W. Stickings, at 7:07 PM
Excellent post, Carl. I'd add this one:
* If gave up the prospect of a cushy Northeastern law practice to work as a community organizer on the depressed south side of Chicago, in part helping blacks try to make something of their lives even as most of America ignored them, you're a worthless piece of shit.
* If you ran a small Alaskan town like your own personal amusement park, trying to ban books, forcing women who were raped to pay for their own rape kits, and seeking every earmark possible, you're totally VP material.
By
Michael J.W. Stickings, at 7:10 PM
A brilliant summation of what are, sadly, the views of far too many people in the U.S.
By
Anonymous, at 2:44 PM
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