Thursday, August 07, 2008

Of creamy White House stationary ...

By J. Thomas Duffy

Somewhere, in recent days, deep in the bowels of the Bush Grindhouse, The Commander Guy meets up with Mr. Slam Dunk...

Bush: I wish to complain about this forged letter that I purchased not five-years ago, from your very agency.

Tenet: Oh yes, the, uh, the Creamy White House Stationary ...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

B: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'The Saddam-Al Qaeda connection is dead, that's what's wrong with it!

T: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

B: Look, matey, I know a dead Saddam-Al Qaeda connection when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

T: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable forgery, the Creamy White House Stationary , idn'it, ay? Beautiful calligraphy!

B: The calligraphy don't enter into it. He's stone dead.

T: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

B: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Saddam-Al Qaeda connection! I've got a lovely fresh WMD for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

T: There, he moved!

B: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

T: I never!!

B: Yes, you did!

T: I never, never did anything...

B: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO Saddam-Al Qaeda connection!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes Saddam-Al Qaeda connection out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

B: Now that's what I call a dead Saddam-Al Qaeda connection.

T: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!


T: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Creamy White House Stationary stuns easily, major.

B: look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Saddam-Al Qaeda connection is definitely deceased, and when I purchased that letter if not five-years ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

T: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the WMD's.

B: PININ' for the WMD's?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

T: The Creamy White House Stationary prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable forgery, id'nit, squire? Lovely calligraphy!

B: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Saddam-Al Qaeda connection when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.


T: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that Saddam-Al Qaeda connection down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

B: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this Saddam-Al Qaeda connection wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! E's bleedin' demised!

T: No no! 'E's pining!

B: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Saddam-Al Qaeda connection is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-SADDAM!!


T: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

T: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of Saddam-Al Qaeda connections.

B: I see. I see, I get the picture.

T: I got a Iran.


B: Pray, does it have WMD's?

T: Nnnnot really.


T: Well! I never wanted to do this in the first place. I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!

In case you were preoccupied, perhaps sitting by your mailbox, waiting for your "Obama Energy Policy" tire gauge to arrive, a gigantic shoe dropped Tuesday, with the publication of Ron Suskind's new book, 'The Way of the World', detailing the Bush Grindhouse forging a letter to tie Saddam Hussein (and their invasion and occupation of Iraq), with Al Qaeda, and September 11th

Here's Suskind, with Keith Olbermann, on Countdown Tuesday evening;

Aug. 5: In a cable exclusive author Ron Suskind talks with Countdown’s Keith Olbermann about allegations in his book, “The Way of the World,” including the claim that the White House ordered that a letter be forged to draw a connection between Iraq and 9/11 even though there wasn't one.

Book: White House faked Iraq-9/11 link

(This was followed up with an Olbermann and John Dean conversation, on the various illegalities involved in this forgery)

Now, coming from the thugs that formed a group inside the Bush Grindhouse (WHIG), and also hired out a firm (The Lincoln Group) to plant lies in the Iraqi media, all the congressional hearings, all the Judy Millers and Scooter Libbys, they expect to be believed?

The Monty Python skit above may be absurd, but not nearly as what will be the pushback, already taking place, from the Bush Grindhouse.

This will be "All Hands On Deck", perhaps their most urgent need of a "Mission Accomplished" moment.

This came from the Bush Grindhouse, Tuesday;

White House press spokesman Tony Fratto attacked Suskind today, stating that he “makes a living from gutter journalism” and calling the book one of Suskind’s “bizarre conspiracy theories.”

(Ed. Note - Suskind is a Pulitzer Prize-winning author)

Christ, CNN, even pulled in Fran Townsend (she of infinite Al Qaeda knowledge) to toss rocks at it.

The character assassination they've been throwing at Scott McClellan will look like blown kisses compared to what will be aimed at Suskind in the days and weeks ahead.

But that's going to be a tough rope to pull, causing them a great deal of inner conflict.

With Suskind bringing out his book this week, it must be ringing in their ears, remembering the advice of former Bush Grindhouse Chief of Staff Andy Card, and his neocon wisdom of "From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new lies in August."

Bonus Bush Forged Letter Links

Emptywheel: Tenet and the “Creamy White House Stationery”

Booman: White House Approved Forged Iraqi Memo

Digby: Hear No Evil

Larisa Alexandrovna - Suskind: Bush admin ordered forgery...


Anonymous Liberal: The Other Half of the Letter

Brilliant at Breakfast: We'd be within our rights to demand an apology

(Cross Posted at The Garlic)

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