A sad day in Colbert Nation

By Michael J.W. Stickings

There is, it would seem, no room for comedic genius in America's political process:

Stephen Colbert has dropped his bid for the White House.

His announcement came after the South Carolina Democratic Executive Council voted last week to keep the host of "The Colbert Report" off the state's primary ballot. The vote was 13-3.

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And now he and Jon Stewart are off the air during the writers' strike. At least his book is hilarious. There's so much from which to choose, but how about the "Abstinence Bases" on p. 76?

• 1st Base: Polite Chatter


• 2nd Base: Eye Contact


• 3rd Base: A Randy Joke


• Home: Furious Dry Humping

Awesome.

(On a more serious note, it's probably for the best that he's not going to be on the ballot in South Carolina. You know, election integrity and all that.)