Thursday, November 22, 2012

Obama pardons turkeys, Romney goes to Disneyland

By Michael J.W. Stickings


Fresh off a four-day trip to Asia, President Barack Obama pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey Wednesday, taking a shot at his former Republican opponent and cracking jokes about his reelection. 

"They say that life is all about second chances and this November I can't agree more," Obama said.

"So in the spirit of the season I have one more gift to give," Obama joked in apparent reference to Mitt Romney's claim after the election that Obama won by giving "gifts" to minority groups, Obama said he was going to pardon the National Thanksgiving Turkey, named Cobbler, and his stand-in, Gobbler.

"The American people have spoken, and these birds are moving forward," he added.

See, that's very funny. And really it's the least Romney deserves for proving to be a privileged rich douchebag as much after the election as before it. (Because that's what he is, period. Surely we all learned that, no?)

Speaking of the guy who will likely end up with a karmic 47% of the popular vote once all the ballots from the 2012 presidential election are counted:

There was another Mitt Romney sighting at Disneyland today, and several Twitter users have shared the disappointingly mouse-ear-free photos. (@michellekillzz reports, "Just met Mitt Romney. He's the shit.") In recent days Romney went to see Twilight and grabbed some pizza, pumped his own gas, and drank from a red Solo cup after going to the gym, so it would appear that he's on some kind of tour to see how the other 47 percent lives.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Must be nice, though, to have all that vulture capitalist money to fall back on, eh?

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