Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The horrible choice for Republicans: Romney or Gingrich?

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Ron Paul may be surging in Iowa, but barring some unforeseen late entry into the race or something weird happening, like right-wing primary voters suddenly realizing that Huntsman is actually the most impressive and electable of the lot, the choice for Republicans has basically come drown to this: Romney or Gingrich?

You may think you know the key differences between these two, but Jon Chait helpfully, and amusingly, and accurately, explains the essence of the choice by way of an analogy: 

Romney is the handsome swindler who plots to win your mother's heart and make off with her fortune. Gingrich is like the husband who periodically gets drunk and runs off to spend a week with a stripper in a low-rent motel but always comes home in the end. Which one would you rather see your mother marry?

Great question.

Maybe Republicans should just stay home and lock the door.

Though of course then they'd end up with Ron Paul, who's only with your mother because she's the only woman who will have him, the other woman in the picture being completely turned off by his crazy fetishes, but isn't really committed to her and is always talking about moving out on his own, where he can truly be himself, even if that means being alone with his demons.

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  • Rick Santorum is your creepy uncle who always wants to show you something down in the basement. Michele Bachmann is the aunt we keep in the attic and noone talks about.

    By Blogger Professor Chaos, at 9:23 AM  

  • the addams family, and the beverly hillbillys all on the same debate 'show'.

    By Anonymous littlebadwolf, at 12:16 PM  

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