Tiger Tiger

By Capt. Fogg

Tiger Tiger sinning bright
Crashed his SUV one night

Brit Hume here for the amazing Redeem-O-Matic Christian sinwashing system. That's right folks, no accountability, no bitchy paybacks, no hard work, no punishment, no silly pagan begging for rice in uncomfortable robes! This miracle device lets you feel like you're off the hook instantly and it won't cost you a dime. Come to Jesus now ( 'cause you know we can't do this all day) and we'll double the offer -- you get 14 adulteries washed for one dunk.

Foxhound Hume tells nominally Buddhist Tiger Woods and us that Buddhism is a second-rate religion because you don't get the same quick-kick forgiven feeling you get with Christianity. No, really.

Tiger turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.

said Hume to Chris Wallace on Fox News this morning. Well, I don't know about old Prune Face, but I would prefer my "great example" to spend more than a Sunday morning's glossolalia session and perhaps seek to make amends to his wife and children -- perhaps even to any of those women he may have deluded into thinking their relationships were going anywhere before punching the reset button on his moral character.

Of course, the selling of Christianity like some labor-saving kitchen device or laundry product should offend Christians, and I'm sure it does. Hell, I feel offended for them, but that's Fox, and that's Hume. Join our tribe, buy our stories, splash on some anger sauce and religious whitewash, and you'll feel better about your sorry self right away. You getting this, camera guy?

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)