George W. Bush and the War on English

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Funny, funny Borowitz:

In what he hoped would be the capstone to his eight years as President, George W. Bush today signed an executive order repealing the English language.

Scrawling his name on the official document, Mr. Bush said that in abolishing English he had vanquished his "greaterest enemy."

For Mr. Bush, the executive order represents the realization of a longstanding dream that began in 2001 when he declared an official War on Grammar.

The president followed up that declaration of war in 2003 when he signed an executive order canceling the agreement between nouns and verbs.

Read it all. And enjoy.