Stop the bailouts! ... Nicole Wallace has something much better!

By J. Thomas Duffy

Nicolle Wallace served as a senior advisor to the McCain-Palin campaign from May 2008-November 2008. Prior to joining the McCain campaign, she worked as a political analyst at CBS News. She served President George W. Bush as an assistant to the president and director of communications for the White House from January 2005 - June 2006, as communications director for President Bush's 2004 re-election campaign and as special assistant to the president and director of media affairs at the White House.

With a rap sheet like that, you might expect to find it on The Smoking Gun.

But no, Tina Brown's new toy is the forum.

I know that things are very bad for a lot of Americans this holiday season, so I hope people will forgive me for my good cheer. Perhaps it’s all the hope and change in the air these days, or maybe it’s just my defeat-induced life of unemployed leisure, but I have been filled with a warm and fuzzy feeling. First, there was John McCain’s exquisite concession speech.

OMG!

Quickly, somebody tell The Congress to cancel those bailout checks!

All we have to do, for those who are unemployed, or being foreclosed on, is to give them "some warm, fuzzy unemployed leisure" and a copy of John McKKKain's "exquisite concession speech".

They'll be thrilled, swept away with indescribable bliss.

Anything but a "gracious" concession speech would have been ... Well ... Pretty much in character of the campaign Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, and the Wasilla Whiz Kid ran.

The monster, landslide ass-kickin' Obama dished out Election Night left the debunked Maverick with no options.

All the networks were biting on the bit, as the clock ticked slowly towards 9:00PM (EST), so they could cue the music and declare the projections of the historic Obama victory.

It wasn't close ... At all.

The speech sent a powerful signal around the world about the strength of our democracy. It also opened the door for the McCains to return, unscathed, to their previous lives of impressive service—Cindy McCain as an advocate for international aid and relief efforts and John McCain as a powerful, pragmatic senator known, liked, and respected by a sizable swath of Democrats, Republicans, the media, and world leaders.

Unscathed?

Impressive?

Jesus, was Wallace holding a box of donuts with one hand, typing with the other?

She goes on to wave her "Gracious" wand over McKKKain's Mini-Me, the Obama staff and, finally, we get to the point where we see she's signed up for passage on the S.S. Bush Legacy Restoration Barge, waxing on how The Commander Guy is a baller, as he begins his "can't-come-fast-enough" exit from The Bush Grindhouse.

But some of the most heartwarming stories I’ve heard this holiday season are the ones that have leaked out of both the East and West wings of the White House about George and Laura Bush, two people whose grace has gone under-reported and unappreciated for too long.

That ought to get her a personal, handwritten note on her Christmas card from the Turd Blossom.

The Bushes have invited former staffers back to the White House this holiday season for one last visit to the place we called home for 70-hour work weeks. I will cherish one last stroll through the grand rooms, one last photo by the Christmas tree, one last look at the East Room as it sparkles with holiday lights and decorations, and one last opportunity to bask in the glow of their grace.

The Daily Beast, where this pap appeared should have provided barf bags, or, at least, a warning to readers, that a two-time hack, completely delusional, would be fouling the pages with her "warm, fuzzy unemployed leisure".

Hey, wait a minute ...

Here's an idea.

Why don't we get a good chunk of those 500,000+ recently unemployed citizens, mix in some of the thousands who have been thrown out there homes, bring in a few bus loads of Iraq veterans, wounded, maybe without much help from the VA, and we shouldn't forget some of the good folks from New Orleans, still displaced, still without a home, and let them stroll through the grand rooms, and take in all the sparkling holiday lights and decorations - and give them a copy of John McKKKain's "exquisite concession speech".

Now, taking our cue from Nicole Wallace, if that wouldn't be one, rootin'-tootin', god-damn, buckets-of-tears, holiday joy, I just don't know what else would capture the spirit of the season, with so much of that "good cheer" Nicole Wallace is so full of.




(Cross Posted at The Garlic)