Sign of the Apocalypse #49: The return of Girl Power

By Michael J.W. Stickings

This is an easy one, isn't it?

(Take a deep breath. Exhale.)

The Spice Girls have announced that they have reunited for a world tour (and to kickstart their moribund careers, and to make a ton of money), and, from what I can tell from my (admittedly brief, because I can only take so much) survey of worldwide media reaction to this devastating development (with respect to the health of our civilization), Girl Power is back, baby, back!

How sad that these four largely talentless women -- with Mrs. Beckham by far the worst of them all (the others at least have some talent other than abject narcissism and gross self-absorption) -- have been allowed, by their enablers in the worldwide entertainment media, to present themselves as the collective embodiment of "Girl Power," some phony manifestation of neo-feminism that is really nothing other than a slick marketing ploy to sell the Spice Girl brand.

"Girl Power is back and stronger than ever," they declared, and one recoils in horror.

And -- alright, alright, fine -- they're not that bad, I admit, certainly not as bad as, say, Britney, the worst of them all, and Jessica, right there with her. And maybe I'd be less negative if they weren't so obviously and so desperately trying to sell their brand, to attract the spotlight that long ago moved on, their 15+ minutes finally, finally over -- and if Mrs. Beckham, a loathsome creature, much like her overrated husband, had been booted out. The other four make up a cute quartet, after all, especially Ginger and Baby. Why retain the wart?

But I've already written too much. In the end: Who cares? Not I, not so much. And maybe their message of "Girl Power," however phony, will help more, or be less destructive than, than the debased and repugnant "hit me, baby" eroticism of Britney and her ilk. (Eroticism? No, surely not. More like self-objectification.) Yes, yes, I'd rather the world's girls emulate four of these five women than those other pop whores.

Still, a SOTA it is. And here they are:

Photo from the Globe: "Spice Girls, from left, Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown, Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton and Melanie Chisholm pose following a press conference in Greenwich, England, to announce the band's world tour."