Fox and Fiends

By Capt. Fogg

I've been a closet theologian all my life, not that I’m religious. I’m very interested, however, in the evolution of religions, and I have devoted many a shining hour to studying the early history of Christianity and the first-century social and political milieu in which it originated. I think I have learned quite a bit about what Christianity was not, before it became the many other and different things it became, and I think that the one thing I have learned and believe most confidently is that religion, regardless of its origins, eventually becomes a system by which people sanctify what they are and what they want and what they hate by calling it worship.

That’s just the same sort of thing that Fox News thrives on. This morning’s edition of Fox and Fiends featured Doug Giles, a bombastic theohooligan and self-idolater who launched into a rant about how Jesus really doesn’t like nice guys and how our churches should be promoting the creation of little warriors to fight terrorism.

Jesus, at least according to the Giles exegesis, really doesn’t like women either, nor their “feminist agenda” and its influence on the warrior cult of the “rough and rowdy” Christ, who, as we know, was always looking for a fight. Last year, Giles wrote, or should I say excreted an essay, for Townhall.com called "Raising Boys Feminists will Hate," which would be high on my “not even if I was on a desert island” don’t-read list had I not had the misfortune already to have read it. My conclusion was that smug Doug Giles is a homosexual of the Brown Shirt variety who would have felt right at home in the SA with Ernst Röhm. He loves fights and he hates women and the men who love them, including Jesus.

As an agnostic, I can assure you that the pain of living in a world without hope that Doug Giles will spend eternity broiling on a spit is sometimes more than I can bear.