Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Top Ten Cloves: Surprises On first day of GOP majority In Congress

10. Representative Steve King (R-IA) insists on having title of House Majority Idiot

9. Republicans hire Rulon Gardner to taunt outgoing Democrats as "The Biggest Losers"

8. To save time, GOP majority insists all floor speeches need to be a Twitter-like 140-characters or less

7. First bill: all members need to be as tanned as new Speaker of the House, John Boehner

6. New Majority Whip Eric Cantor challenges King for House Majority Idiot

5. Swearing in new members is delayed, as newly-elected Tea Party Congressmen show up with misspelled signs and shout down the Speaker

4. New Speaker of House Ceremony delayed -- gavel keeps slipping out of Nancy Pelosi's hand due to it being soaking wet from John Boehner's crying

3. Michele Bachmann gets so excited with having the majority, she gets confused and starts investigating herself for anti-American activities

2. Big confusion -- Tea Party Members thought they were reading the Constitution, but, due to error, actually are reading leaked cables by WikiLeaks

1. LeBron James shows up, announces he's "taking his talents to Congress."

Bonus Links

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)

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