Top Ten Cloves: Surprises On first day of GOP majority In Congress

By J. Thomas Duffy

News Item: In House, new Republican majority plans to act fast to undo Obama's agenda

10. Representative Steve King (R-IA) insists on having title of House Majority Idiot

9. Republicans hire Rulon Gardner to taunt outgoing Democrats as "The Biggest Losers"

8. To save time, GOP majority insists all floor speeches need to be a Twitter-like 140-characters or less

7. First bill: all members need to be as tanned as new Speaker of the House, John Boehner

6. New Majority Whip Eric Cantor challenges King for House Majority Idiot

5. Swearing in new members is delayed, as newly-elected Tea Party Congressmen show up with misspelled signs and shout down the Speaker

4. New Speaker of House Ceremony delayed -- gavel keeps slipping out of Nancy Pelosi's hand due to it being soaking wet from John Boehner's crying

3. Michele Bachmann gets so excited with having the majority, she gets confused and starts investigating herself for anti-American activities

2. Big confusion -- Tea Party Members thought they were reading the Constitution, but, due to error, actually are reading leaked cables by WikiLeaks

1. LeBron James shows up, announces he's "taking his talents to Congress."

Bonus Links

Igor Volsky: Will Republicans Be Able To Defund Health Reform?

Jack Stuef: Michele Bachmann To Defeat Obama, Be First Female, Banshee President

Kathleen Hennessey and Tom Hamburger: Tea party freshmen embrace status quo - After campaigning against D.C.'s ways, new Republican lawmakers quickly turn to lobbyists and fundraisers

Pat Garofalo: House GOP Repeatedly Promised $100 Billion In Spending Cuts That It Now Calls "Hypothetical"

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)