Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Usual Suspects

by Distributorcap

There was plenty of insanity to go around this week, most of it from the usual suspects.

1. Several prominent Republicans (who apparently all failed algebra) keep claiming that continuing tax cuts for the wealthiest 2% of Americans will not increase the deficit. After all, every time you give a rich person a tax cut, an Angel gets a Tiffany watch.

2. Elisabeth Hasselback (who apparently had her brain voted off the island on Survivor) stated that the reason middle age women "become gay" is because middle age men are only interested in younger women. So I guess we can expect another 10,000,000 single and widowed women to run out and buy Melissa Ethridge albums.

3. Sarah Palin (who apparently enjoys proving she is one of the dumbest people to ever be born) complained about Obama going on The View. Then again, maybe Palin has a point, since Obama had to be in the same room as Hasselback.

4. Oliver Stone (who apparently has been palling around with Mel Gibson) called the media "Jewish dominated" and said the Nazis did far more damage to the Russians than the Jews. Stone has also stated that Hitler was a scapegoat. As a note, Oliver Stone is Jewish.

5. Zack Wamp (who apparently left his heart in the Potomac) joined the chorus of the "warm-hearted" right said this about the unemployed "...And this is creating a culture of dependence which we do not need. We want people out there scraping and clawing and looking for work and not just sitting back waiting...." Yep, because with those $350 checks, those lazy welfare queens can buy 350 lottery tickets.

6. Lindsay Graham (who apparently will do anything to get the Teabaggers on his side) wants to rewrite the 14th Amendment, overturning the clause that says anyone born on US soil is a citizen. Unmarried, childless, "I am not gay" Lindsay Graham wants to change a portion of the constitution having to do with children.

7. Michael Clemente, Senior Vice President of News for Fox News (who apparently can sleep at night despite the fact his job is contributing to the decline and fall of America) claimed there was a breakdown in the "system" by allowing the Shirely Sherrod story to get on air before it was properly vetted. Yep - there was a breakdown - they got caught in propagating the lie this time.

8. The Iowa GOP (who apparently did not talk to Orly Taitz) wants to strip Obama of his US citizenship for accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. What I want to know, is how the Iowa GOP is going to do this considering Obama is Kenyan born Muslim socialist who doesn't even have a green card.

9. Congress (who apparently really live in a Video Game) took weeks to find $33 billion to help 2.5 million Americans fighting to keep food on their tables, but took about an hour to to find $60 billion to help Americans fight 50 Al-Qaeda members in Afghanistan.

10. The Department of Defense (who apparently hired Arthur Andersen as their accountants) cannot account for 96% of the $9 billion dollars it allocated to Iraq for reconstruction. They might not be able to account for it, but i would bet $8.1 billion that Halliburton and a few other choice firms can.

11. Tom Tancredo (who apparently still hates immigrants) wants to impeach Obama. Get in line Tom, so does every other person in Congress and will undoubtedly begin proceedings if they take back the House.

12. Phyllis Schlafly (who apparently is still alive) said ""Unmarried women, 70% of unmarried women, voted for Obama, and this is because when you kick your husband out, you've got to have big brother government to be your provider." Maybe Schlafly should listen to Hasselback, and allow those women to marry each other.


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