If you seek... Eric Cantor

By Michael J.W. Stickings

So you know how Obama took all that grief for taking time to fill out his March Madness bracket for ESPN, notably from the loathsome Republican Coach K. of the loathsome Duke Blue Devils?

As if the president shouldn't take any time to himself, as if he shouldn't have any fun, as if he should ignore his family and go without sleep to solve the world's problems.

And as if Bush, that notorious slacker, ever would have been criticized like Obama was. (Although, to be fair, expectations for Obama are much higher than they ever were for Bush. With Bush, it was just assumed that he wasn't paying attention.)

Now, I realize that the president has a bit more on his plate than a congressman, but how about Eric Cantor -- Virginia Republican, rising GOP star, determined partisan, and spokesman for the party's extremist ideology -- showing up at the Britney Spears concert in D.C. on Tuesday and missing Obama's press conference?

How did his right-wing "family values" ever withstand such an assault? And how can he justify taking time away from his busy schedule trying to obstruct efforts to pull America out of an historic economic crisis?

Oh, right, lest we forget...

Britney's a Republican, isn't she? Or at least, not so long ago, a big-time Bush-backer. Maybe he was just doing some, uh... research. (F-U-C-K, Mr. Cantor. Get it?)

(Actually, I don't really care what Cantor does in his spare time. Britney's not my cup o' tea, but whatever. Just so long as he and his moralist friends on the theocratic right appreciate the utter hypocrisy of their "family values" policies. They don't, of course, but it's good to know that Cantor "enjoyed" the show.)

(Photo from Yahoo.)

Hmmm ... I wonder ... Would she rather be in Philadelphia?

By J. Thomas Duffy

No word on where she'd rather be, but this has to be -- despite Mike Huckabee and what he might say at any given moment -- the head-shaker-of-the-day story:

EXCLUSIVE: The AP Has Written Britney Spears' Obituary

I'm half-surprised the Cable News networks haven't tossed their 24/7 political coverage aside to run hours of loops of the same footage of Britney, accompanied by a parade of Tinsel Town talking heads -- the B-journalists -- who, in truth, are very much part of Britney's problems and, exponentially, increase the coverage by running the loops of Anna Nicole Smith, rehashing her sad life and the parallels to Britney...

Too bad this isn't a Sweeps Month, or that may very well have come to fruition.

I wonder if, like a racetrack's tote board, this jostled the betting at the Dead Pool?

Now, it's time to kick back and wait for the other shoe to drop ... Paris Hilton, complaining that no one has written her obituary yet, or worse, as with her singing, she's going to do it herself...

Tell-Britney-To-Stay-Away-From-Green-Bananas Links

Attytood: Thank God the AP is ready for the biggest story of our lifetime

Attaturk: Alert the Pulitzer Prize Committee

The Death Pool - Chronicling Death in Pools since 2007

The Home Of The Celebrity Dead Pool

The Dead Pool

Gerald Ford Dana Carvey SNL - Dana Carvey impersonates Tom Brokaw in a mock news broadcast on SNL as he enumerates the ways that Gerald Ford could die





















(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)