Thursday, April 04, 2013

Ken Cuccinelli hates blow jobs

By Michael J.W. Stickings

From the Blade:

Virginia Attorney General Kenneth Cuccinelli has filed a petition with the 4th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals in Richmond asking the full 15-judge court to reconsider a decision by a three-judge panel last month that overturned the state's sodomy law.

The three-judge panel ruled 2-1 on March 12 that a section of Virginia's "Crimes Against Nature" statute that outlaws sodomy between consenting adults, gay or straight, is unconstitutional based on a U.S. Supreme Court decision in 2003 known as Lawrence v. Texas.

One assumes that Cuccinelli is motivated largely by anti-gay bigotry (they can kiss, but that's it... but not the genitals!), but of course a sodomy law covers other things as well, like, you know, blow jobs. (No word on what he might have against those.) Or maybe he's just sick and tired of Alice not putting out unless he goes down on her first. (I mean, sure, they have seven children, and maybe he owes her some tongue action, but come on, it's smelly down there, and it takes, like, forever!)

Whatever the case, he can go shove a large turnip up his ass. Which he has every right to do. It says so in the fucking Constitution.

More or less.

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