Ejaculating sacred sperm into the Gulf of Mexico America: Using satire to ridicule Republican stupidity

By Michael J.W. Stickings 

Looks like that whole "Gulf of America" thing that was understandably arousing so much outrage and ridicule was just satire all along. Here's ThinkProgress with the before and after:

Before 

Mississippi State Rep. Steve Holland, a Democrat, introduced a bill in the state's lower chamber calling for the part of the Gulf of Mexico that borders his state to be renamed the "Gulf of America." A local Latino GOP organization called on Holland to withdraw the measure. "If this bill passes the legislature and is signed into law, perhaps it is time to rename the Mississippi River," wrote Bob Quasius, Café Con Leche's president, in the letter. "After all, sharing a name with a state that wants to rewrite maps out of disdain for Mexicans would be a disgrace to the rest of the nation."

After 

It was satire! The lawmaker, Rep. Steve Holland, tells Mississippi Public Broadcasting's Daniel Cherry that he was just making a point, reports NPR:

Holland told Daniel that so many of his Republican colleagues seem to want to push anything or anyone Mexican out of the state that he's just trying to "embrace" their cause and help them out. In other words, he’s introduced a bill that he thinks will make a satirical point by being outrageous.

Well played, Mauer Mr. Holland. Point well taken.

**********

In Oklahoma, Sen. Constance Johnson did much the same with her hilarious "sacred sperm" amendment to that state's "personhood" legislation being pushed by Republicans:

To poke fun at the absurdity of the measure, Oklahoma state Sen. Constance Johnson (D), has tacked on a provision affirming — in the words of a famous Monty Python song — that every sperm is sacred:

State Senator Constance Johnson of Oklahoma City has served Oklahoma's 48th Senate District since 2005, but it was yesterday's introduction of Senate Bill 1433 that really pushed her over the edge. The bill sought to define human life as beginning at the moment of conception, before it's even implanted in the womb, and offers full legal protection to those tiny multicelled lumps. In the words of the bill, "the unborn child at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state."

Johnson submitted an amendment of her own to the bill, which would have added the language, 

However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.

Among other things, Johnson's amendment would essentially outlaw oral sex, anal sex, and masturbation. Were it not a satirical bill, it would almost certainly be deemed unconstitutional.

Once again, very well played.