Sarah Palin backs out of Iowa Tea Party event, media succumb to denial and disbelief -- and then, all was right with the world again, big sigh of relief, praise Jesus

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Oh no, Sarah Palin may not show up for that Tea Party rally in Iowa on Saturday! Whatever shall we do?

Ms. Palin is known for last-minute schedule changes that whipsaw supporters and media across the country. But the latest decision is puzzling. Ms. Palin's speech at the rally was viewed as her most high-profile appearance of the summer, fueling speculation she was indeed plotting to run for the Republican presidential nomination.

Newsflash for the media and her fans: She's fucking around. And fucking with you. She's not running. She just wants the attention, and cash that comes with it.

It doesn't matter that she'll be at a separate event in Iowa on Friday, and then at an event on Monday in New Hampshire. She's still just tantalizing you -- er, us -- with the prospect of a run. And you -- and many of us -- keep getting sucked in.

She's already got her pony in the race: Rick Perry. She'll throw her weight behind him, eventually, and that will be that.

Until she craves the spotlight once more, or needs more money, and heads out on the road to suck the wind out of the Republican field.

The only sure thing in all this is that Palin will never have the dignity and grace to step aside. It's just not in her.

Oh... wait. She's back! Thank whatever "God" you want. Let the fucking continue!