Worst Human Being in the World: Andrea Peyser

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Okay, okay, so this pathetic little right-wing runt of a columnist at the New York Post isn't quite as bad as, say, Ratko Mladic. But this... this is just appallingly ridiculous, and it says far more about Peyser than it does about Weiner:

She is so out of here.

On the day Anthony Weiner needed his wife the most, she vanished -- poof! -- like his harem of feisty Twitter chippies during a power outage.

The gorgeous and furious Internet cuckold Huma Abedin refused yesterday to stand by her man. She did not show up to walk the plank of public humiliation, the way doormat Silda did for her whoremonger husband, Eliot Spitzer.

And she did not stand like a potted plant, cowering beneath her hair, the way wife and beard Dina did when her hub, Jim McGreevey, announced he was a "gay American."

Yesterday, the anniversary of D-Day, Weiner, 46, threw a little sneak invasion of his own. He stood behind a podium -- sobbing, blubbering and begging for forgiveness for his fetishistic fixation with phone sex, e-mail sex and sexting gross photos to a half-dozen chicks, many young enough to be his children. And Huma was gone.

"Mr. Weiner," I asked him. "Are you splitting up?"

His reply was most curious, even for a liar and cheat. He tried to avoid the question altogether.

"I love my wife very much," he said, sidestepping a direct "no."

First, who writes like this? One can only imagine that her casual use of dirty language, lobbing it at her chosen targets, gives her a massive erection.

Second, what the fuck does she know about Weiner's sexuality? How does she know that he has a "fetishistic fixation" with any of those things? Playing around on the Internet the way Weiner did hardly amounts to a fixation, let alone a fetishistic one. Does Peyser know anything about sexuality at all, about how human beings interact, about what turns them on, particularly in this virtual age? Apparently not.

Third, what the fuck does she know about the Weiners and their relationship, about what goes on behind their closed doors?

Fourth, it's none of her fucking business why Huma wasn't there. She may very well still love her husband. Is that so hard to believe? Maybe their love is deeper than his transgressions? And maybe she didn't want to stand there only to be bombarded by the media's self-righteous, hypocritical moralizing.

Fifth, it's none of her fucking business if the Weiners are splitting up or not, and Anthony didn't owe her an answer. Maybe they're just trying to work things out, the way so many couples do when they face problems.

Sixth, how is what Weiner did so horribly wrong? He was an idiot to use social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter to do what he did, and for the sake of his relationship he shouldn't have done what he did, but other than that, what? Is he a raving hypocrite like "family values" conservatives David Vitter, Larry Craig, and Mark Sanford, not to mention Newt Gingrich, among so many others? No. Did he commit an act of sexual violence? No. Did he commit a crime at all? No. Did he prove himself incapable of being a congressman? No. What he did was a private matter, and he and his wife should be allowed to deal with it in private without the glare of the likes of Andrea Peyser.

Seventh, there are far more important things going on in the world than "Weinergate." Not that you'd know that from the media's mouth-frothing.

Eighth, Peyser, with whom I am thankfully not familiar, is evidently -- and I use this column as all the evidence I need -- a reprehensible human being. I suppose she must be perfect. I suppose she has never done a thing wrong. Even so, she should shut the fuck up.

Ninth, let's add her to the list of Worst Human Beings in the World. Where she belongs.