Jason Linkins channels Morning Joke

By J. Thomas Duffy

(Ed. note: Some of you may know this, but I should note that I'm a blogger at The Huffington Post. The views expressed here are solely those of JTD. I may or may not agree with one or more of them. -- MJWS)

Apparently, for any of us who have criticized Arianna Huffington and her Huffington Post, building her empire on the fingertips of unpaid writers, Jason Linkins, of HuffPo, today tells us to all go back to our parents' basements and eat Cheetos in our underwear.

Or that we are lazy sacks of shit who don't want "[n]o daily hours, no deadlines, no late nights, no weekends..."

Let's backtrack for a moment.

Back in 2008, Morning Joke and his Sargent Garcia-like sidekick Mika Brzezinski took exception to bloggers criticizing Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain.

From Amanda Terkel of Think Progress:

Also during this segment, Scarborough attacked liberal bloggers for correcting McCain's error, saying they were probably "just sitting there, eating their Cheetos" and saying, "Let me google Anbar Awakening!" He added, "Dust flying — Cheeto dust flying all over. They're wiping it on their bare chest while their underwear — you know, their Hanes."

Hmmmm....

Now let's swing back to today, and to the Linkins lecture he doled out today on -- you guessed it -- Huffington Post:

Being a paid employee comes with many expectations and responsibilities. Let's run some of them down, shall we? First of all, there's this expectation that on a daily basis, you will show up and do work. In an office and everything! There you are subject to things like deadlines -- you actually have to produce writing on a regular basis. You receive assignments, from editors, that you are expected to fulfill in a timely fashion. You participate in editorial meetings. You coordinate your efforts with your colleagues. You try to break news. You try to cultivate sources. You go, whenever you are able, to where news is occurring.

Stop for a moment, class, everyone is not paying attention:

Is the State of the Union tonight? You'll be working during that time. Is there a debate? Got a night of election returns coming? Plan on staying late. Did some madman just put several people in Tucson, Arizona in the hospital on a Saturday? Cancel your plans, because you've got to call in and get to work. You are, theoretically, on call, 24-7, to get the work done.

Those are the sorts of responsibilities, that, when they are fulfilled, entitle one to a "salary." And that's the life of the people who get paid to do original reporting and content for the site. And the content they produce is the most important content on the site. It's the stuff that is most widely read. It's the primary driver of everything else.

Does everyone follow that, class?

Big people do big, important jobs every day, and it's important to understand that, because when you grow up, you'll have to do big important jobs everyday, so you can get a paycheck.

Or not.

Here is where he channels Scarborough:

Now, people often wonder: why would anyone blog for free, at a place that pays other contributors? Please note, that part of what "free" entitles you to is a freedom from "having to work." No daily hours, no deadlines, no late nights, no weekends. You just do what you like when the spirit moves you.

[snip]

Of course, there remain hundreds of contributors to The Huffington Post who do so for no other reason than that they want exposure. Now, the value of "exposure," in and of itself, is a subject for debate. And it should be! But nevertheless, we have hundreds of people who want to take something they've written and put it in front of potentially millions of people, instead of their Facebook friends or their Twitter followers.

And here Linkins bends down to fill our bowls with some more Cheetos, and to tell us to be quiet and that someday we can eat grown-up food:

I suspect that there are a lot of blogger-contributors who are of a similar mind to me. Still others probably like having a big megaphone for their hobby. Naturally, there will probably be people who want to graduate from unpaid contributor to employee -- and where they can make a case on merit, and assume all of the responsibilities of employees, such "promotions" will be considered. But it's a dramatic change in your life to go from somebody who's writing whenever they feel up to it, to someone who has to come in and make high quality contributions on a regular basis -- even when that sporadic writing is brilliant writing. And that's the sort of thing that has to be considered before that jump is made.

Got that, class?

You'll have to make a "dramatic change in your life" if you want to be somebody ("I coulda had class, I coulda been a contender...") -- even if you are brilliant -- to earn that paycheck.

No lightweights or Cheeto-eaters need apply.

If there is a Patronizing Hall of Fame, somebody needs to nominate Jason Linkins and his trivial post.

He's a lock to make it on the first ballot.

Bonus Riffs

Jill: Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?

Maryann Johanson: writers must stop giving their work away to Huffington Post

Barry Crimmins: Financial Modeling for Fun and Profiteers

Top Ten Cloves: Things Joe Scarborough Likes To Eat and Wear When Sitting At Computer

Arianna Escalating Her Wage-Less Empire

Breaking News! GM Cancels UAW In Favor of Adopting Huffington Post Business Model ...Celebrities, Auto Enthusiasts and Bloggers To Build Cars For Free; Huge Spike In Profits Forecast

(Cross-posted on The Garlic.)