Haven't they seen the movie?

By J. Thomas Duffy

Talk about Sisyphus, pushing the rock uphill.



World's 'freshest organic' cola set to launch next week

LONDON - Cow Cola is to be launched next week with backing from a number of leading US investors, and the positioning 'Made on farms. Not in factories'.

The company aims to challenge Coca-Cola and Pepsi in the soft drinks sector, positioning itself as a more natural, healthier and better-tasting product than its rivals.

[snip]

The product gets its name from the way that it has been manufactured, as the drink is made from genetically engineered cows, as opposed to being created in a factory.

The origins of Cow Cola go back to 1996, when a farmer in Lithuania discovered his milk was cola-flavoured. It was later discovered that his neighbour, a bar owner, was pouring waste cola from his bar onto the field where the cows grazed to make the grass grow better.

Scientists at the agricultural chemical giant Copsi acquired the cow and, over 10 years, have genetically engineered a breed of cow to produce a pure cola (without any milk content).

(Here's their website, though, it doesn't appear to be working properly)

Holy Cow!

They've got two major-league fastballs to hit here.

One, taking on Coca Cola, Pepsi, and the gaggle of other second-tier cola drink-makers, is going to be formidable, to understate it .

And, secondly, they have to sell the concept of genetically-engineered cows, that produce cola, instead of milk.

Let's throw that one into a Heartland focus group.

Here's a video on this 'Cow Cola' and note how, in Part II, the farmer laments his cow producing cola, how "that is not right" and how the chemical company took the cow and now it only produces cola, and that he wants to change over and become a chicken farmer;

Cow Cola, the Camper & the Farmer



A commentor offers "Copsi are a big agricultural chemical company who have been dealing in GM for years. This is really frightening stuff."

And if this isn't making an impression on their chances of marketing this stuff successfully, somebody needs to get them a DVD, or video, of the 1985 movie, 'The Coca Cola Kid' (A nice little film, very funny, with a young Eric Roberts and young, as well as quite fetching, Greta Scacchi; Here's the trailer for it).



Maybe, along with producing cola, they can get the cow to push that rock up the hill.

Me thinks, if cows could produce cola, simply by feeding them coca-cola-saturated grass, Coke (or Pepsi) would have had this wrapped up decades ago.

Perhaps it would evolve, into a story today, of a rum-producing bovine.


Bonus Riffs

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(Cross Posted at The Garlic)