First Rule of Harold Ford ...

By J. Thomas Duffy

You don't talk about Harold Ford

Second rule of Harold Ford, you don't talk about Harold Ford.



Now, it would really be story, if it comes out that the that the helicopter-flyin', wanna-be-carpetbagger was a member of 'Fight Club'.

That would seem to be the case, as The Smoking Gun has unearthed Ford's rider, for his nicely-paid speaking gigs.

Harold Ford Superstar - U.S. Senate wannabe's tour rider anticipates swarms of adoring fans

Like Jay-Z and Lady Gaga, Harold Ford, Jr. has a tour rider.

[snip]

According to the below contract for an appearance Wednesday at a Missouri college, Ford demands that when his limo driver picks him up, the chauffeur must be carrying a sign reading "H.F.." Presumably, if the Democrat's name was spelled out, hordes of fans/groupies would be alerted to his impending arrival and swarm him (something that has bedeviled the Jonas Brothers).

The Smoking Gun as a copy of the rider, so go check it out.

Alex Pareene, over on Gawker, had some fun with it, as well;

Presumably, if the driver just wrote "Harold Ford" (or "Ford"?), the would-be candidate would be swamped by a mob of adoring fans. So the rider stipulates that the sign read, cryptically, "H.F." (What if Howard Fineman is at the same airport? Or Hank Finkel? Or... Hitler Frankenstein?)

Bonus points to Alex, for using "Hank Finkel" in there.

Now, this isn't as extensive as the former Shadow President's rider, which demanded that Faux News be on any television within his eye range (and, we riffed on that with "Top Ten Cloves: Slogans and Tag Lines For Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite – If Dick Cheney Was Pitchman"), as the rider says, no shellfish, but nothing about caffeine-free drinks, or Faux News.

And, since Ford took to calling Senator Kirsten Gillibrand a "“parakeet", here's hoping he does run against her, and that she shits all over him.




(Cross Posted at The Garlic)