Breaking News! Bush sees shadow, another year of lawbreaking predicted

Oval Office event draws thousands; Top hat and tails, and an outcome "Just like the movie"

By J. Thomas Duffy

In what started out as an inside joke, among just a few staffers, has now grown to a full-scale event, with thousands of government employees gathering around the West Wing, and the grounds of the Bush GrindHouse, to see the spectacle.

For the past seven years, as soon as The Commander Guy walks into the Oval Office on February 2nd, hearts are stopped and breath is held -- will he see his shadow, a bona fide indicator of continued disregard for the laws of the country -- or not.

Reports are just coming in, over the roar of the crowd -- The Commander Guy saw his own shadow ... Another year of lawbreaking lays ahead!

Often timed with the other famous prognosticator, Puxsutawney Phil, the legendary Pennsylvania groundhog, who also saw his own shadow this morning, the Oval Office event has grown to almost the same, frenzied, party-atmosphere as takes place in Gobbler's Knob.

Government employees from the State Department, Pentagon, Transportation, FBI, CIA, including some who travel to Washington from federal offices around the country, and a few from international posts, all begin gathering at and around the Bush Grindhouse in the pre-dawn hours, some staking out positions days in advance.

For the occasion, as like the crew at Gobbler's Knob, those that work in the West Wing, don tails and top hats, and only a chosen few handle The Commander Guy after he's seen his own shadow.

A cottage industry has grown around the Oval Office event, with trinkets, tchotchkes, and t-shirts -- this year's showing, being the last Bush Shadow event, on the front, an outline of hand, holding a pen over a document, and, on the back, a listing of The Commander Guys' Signing Statements.

Vice President Dick Cheney, sources have told The Garlic, was at the event, wearing last years' official T-Shirt, simply the image of a pair of headphones embracing the country at both coasts, with the words "We're Listening" underneath.

"This really has come to emulate the movie," offered Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter "What Did He Say Now?" that tracks and reviews President Bush's speeches and interviews, referring to the comedy classic, Groundhog Day.

"Bill Murray goes through the same day, over and over, and nothing happens to him," continued Johnson. "He doesn't get injured or hurt ... Arrested ... Nothing happens ... And Bush, it's the same thing ... He breaks law after law and nothing happens to him ... It's amazing, just like the movie."

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For the occasion, as like the crew at Gobbler's Knob, those that work in the West Wing, don tails and top hats, and only a chosen few handle The Commander Guy after he's seen his own shadow.

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)