Yes, Virginia, there is, sadly, a William Kristol ...

By J. Thomas Duffy

Oh, boy ... Like you couldn't see this one coming down the turnpike, pedal-to-the-metal and the high beams on ...

Christ, even a young toddler, that still believes in Santa Clause, knew, instinctively, this would be coming.

Gen. David Petraeus, Man of the Year; Time magazine got it wrong

Little Billy Kristol is all plump-in-the-crotch with this one.

"We are now winning the war. To say this was not inevitable is an understatement ..."

"Petraeus pulled it off. The war is not over, of course. Too quick and deep a drawdown--which some in the Pentagon and elsewhere in the Bush administration are, appallingly, pushing for--could throw away the amazing success that has been achieved. Still: It is as clear as anything can be in this world, where we judge through a glass darkly, that General David H. Petraeus is, in fact, America's man of the year.

What, exactly, has Petraeus, or us, won?

There's a lull in the action and OMG!, the surge worked.

Pardon me, if we wait and let all the sand fall through the hourglass.

There's still a pretty huge shoe - and we're talking gargantuan-sized clown shoes here - that will "inevitably" drop, namely, what happens to all those former insurgents that Petraeus armed - intentionally (and the ones he armed unintentionally) - when they decide to switch back to be regular old insurgents again?

Or they don't like a certain Iraqi politician? Or they don't like what's being served for lunch at the local deli?

Sounds like Little Billy Kristol is pushing for a Mission Accomplished II (which I suppose we get both Bush and Cheney in flightsuits) and a Wall Street-Ticker-Tape parade for the Golden Boy General.

I'm sure this will be a heavily-buzzed topic of conversation on the next Weekly Standard cruise (the Ad hanging over Little Billy's love note) and, who knows, maybe the victorious General will be on-board as well.

Can't you just see The General pulling some aging neocon out of the audience, one poured into the tuxedo bought thirty-years ago, to give some razzle-dazzle demonstration of "the surge"?

The neocons, freakshow and dittoheads on board will eat it up like happy soup. There'll be shouts from the crowd for Petraeus to run for the Senate, run for President. Surely, if he can "win Iraq", he can easily knock some sense into Washington.

Quickly, the crowd will begin foaming, delirious that are in the same room with the Golden Boy General, and it won't be long before the catcalls come for a "surge into Iran".

And Little Billy Kristol crashes through the swinging doors, all dolled up in his little cheerleading uniform and ... Well, let's not go there ... It would take us into a Russ Meyer-Meets-Tim Burton-Meets-David Lynch-Meets-John Waters-thing and that is too sick and twisted to conjure up, even for a satire piece ...

Suffice it to say Little Billy Kristol will have boatloads of more columns calling for war and destruction.

It is, he will argue, the American way.

Cleaning Up Little Billy Kristol Droppings

Think Progress: Time drops Kristol, Krauthammer

Juan Cole: A surge of phony spin on Iraq - Bush's backers are peddling a sunny view of the president's strategy -- despite Iraq's political chaos and soaring death counts

The PetraeusReportpalooza ... Ready For Your Close-Up, General?

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?
















(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)