Craziest Republican of the Day: Dick Cheney

By Michael J.W. Stickings

I'm sure many Republicans said or did many crazy things yesterday, but the craziest of them all had to be Dick Cheney, for this:

Vice President Cheney today predicted Iraq will be a self-governing democracy by the time he leaves office, calling the current U.S. surge strategy "a remarkable success story" that will be studied for years to come.

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Cheney said that by the middle of January 2009, it will be clear that "we have in fact achieved our objective in terms of having a self-governing Iraq that's capable for the most part of defending themselves, a democracy in the heart of the Middle East, a nation that will be a positive force in influencing the world around it in the future."

All of that by 2009? "Yes, sir," he replied.

Now, if by a "self-governing Iraq" he means an Iraq with an impotent government in Baghdad allied to Shiite militias, U.S.-armed Sunni death squads roaming the country and cleansing it with brutal abandon, a quasi-autonomous Kurdistan in the north, Turkish troops attacking Kurdish separatists on Iraqi territory, sectarian violence bordering on civil war (if not outright civil war), an Iraq teetering on the brink of chaos, an Iraq having experienced a mass exodus of refugees (including many who would have been at the forefront of a new Iraq), an Iraq without much of even the most basic infrastructure, and so on, and so on -- well, if that's what he means, he may yet be proven right.

Seriously, though, how is it possible that Iraq will be a self-governing democracy in just over a year? Will Iraqis be so happy at Bush's departure from the White House that they will lay down their arms and their grievances and move ahead in peace, love, and harmony? And what about the not-so-small matter of the ongoing American occupation of Iraq? It seems to me that a self-governing country must, by definition, be able to provide security, to be able to defend itself. But Iraq will be in no position to do that by January 2009. Will it govern itself democratically with the U.S. still occupying the country? Or is Cheney indicating that the U.S. will have pulled out by then?

(Questions, questions.)

We know him for his incessant warmongering, but Cheney is also really good with the delusional happy talk. And, here, he has outdone himself.