Top Ten Cloves: Possible reasons Peyton Manning threw six interceptions last evening

News Item: A night to forget; Manning hits new lows in Colts' bizarre loss to Bolts

By J. Thomas Duffy

10. Couldn't get a good grip -- Worried the footballs were made in China and may have had that date-rape drug on them.

9. California Senator Diane Feinstein told him before the game that, along with the Telecom Immunity, she'd vote that any interceptions he threw, he'd get immunity also and they wouldn't count against his record.

8. Wanted something really good to post on The Wall, in his Facebook profile.

7. With the New England Patriots having a bye week, wanted to be extra sure he would get all the headlines today.

6. Still pretty rattled over martial law being dictated over in Pakistan.

5. Misunderstanding -- Thought the San Diego Chargers defensive backs were on strike, instead of the screen and television writers.

4. Was consistently looking over his shoulder for the kid with the stolen tank to come rolling into the stadium.

3. Brought his politics onto the field -- Is going to keep throwing interceptions until Vice President Dick Cheney is impeached.

2. Two of the interceptions were because Hillary Clinton's campaign asked him to do it.

1. "You mean everyone in America doesn't get a free taco from Taco Bell if I throw six interceptions?"

**********

Bonus NFL Links

More Steroid Hearings - The NFL Goes To Congress; McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"; Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge; Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

















Two of the interceptions were because Hillary Clinton's campaign asked him to do it

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)