Top Ten Cloves: Reasons leading to Newt Gingrich deciding not to run for president
By J. Thomas Duffy
News Item: No Newt
10. There was a special, pre-nuptial clause in Gingrich's Contract for America that prevents him for running for President.
9. Told an aid, that with Hillary in the Senate, "You can bet-your-ass she'll try to impeach me".
8. Doesn't have any spiffy nicknames for himself, like The Decider/Commander/Shakespeare Guy President Bush.
7. Claims he said only if the New York Mets made the playoffs would he run for President.
6. Doesn't feel like dealing with -- if she gets the Democratic Nomination -- Hillary Clinton and her laugh.
5. Doesn't want to chance having Ann Coulter call him a "Fag".
4. Tough campaigning, since he already adopted his own policy of restricting Free Speech.
3. Deathly afraid Rush Limbaugh will start calling him a "Phony Politician".
2. His own group, American Solutions, issued a white paper indicating how bad a Gingrich presidency would be for the country.
1. Might have to go to dinner at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem with Al Sharpton and doesn't want to show-up Bill O'Reilly by not coming out with racist comments.
Bonus Newt Riffs
Michael Scherer - Newt: I'm shocked, shocked by Abramoff scandal! - From his lofty perch on the sidelines, the ethically challenged former speaker denounces corruption in politics.
David Sirota: Newt's New Con
Crooks and Liars: Newt Blames The Victims of Katrina
(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)
News Item: No Newt
10. There was a special, pre-nuptial clause in Gingrich's Contract for America that prevents him for running for President.
9. Told an aid, that with Hillary in the Senate, "You can bet-your-ass she'll try to impeach me".
8. Doesn't have any spiffy nicknames for himself, like The Decider/Commander/Shakespeare Guy President Bush.
7. Claims he said only if the New York Mets made the playoffs would he run for President.
6. Doesn't feel like dealing with -- if she gets the Democratic Nomination -- Hillary Clinton and her laugh.
5. Doesn't want to chance having Ann Coulter call him a "Fag".
4. Tough campaigning, since he already adopted his own policy of restricting Free Speech.
3. Deathly afraid Rush Limbaugh will start calling him a "Phony Politician".
2. His own group, American Solutions, issued a white paper indicating how bad a Gingrich presidency would be for the country.
1. Might have to go to dinner at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem with Al Sharpton and doesn't want to show-up Bill O'Reilly by not coming out with racist comments.
Bonus Newt Riffs
Michael Scherer - Newt: I'm shocked, shocked by Abramoff scandal! - From his lofty perch on the sidelines, the ethically challenged former speaker denounces corruption in politics.
David Sirota: Newt's New Con
Crooks and Liars: Newt Blames The Victims of Katrina
(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)
Labels: 2008 election, American Solutions, Contract For America, Newt Gingrich
1 Comments:
#11: Newt's preference is to succeed Jefferson Davis as president of a re-formed Confederacy.
By Michael J.W. Stickings, at 5:02 PM
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