Headline of the Day

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Voilà:

Giuliani Vows to End Illegal Immigration

Seriously. This is what Rudy said: "I promise you, we can end illegal immigration."

In a related commitment, the former mayor of New York -- by the way, did you know he was mayor on 9/11? you think he'd make more of this on the campaign trail, no? -- promised to end premarital sex.

Seriously, again. Romney jabbed Giuliani on illegal immigration last week, that is, for being soft on it, and Giuliani, a suck-up-to-the-base flip-flopper who puts even Romney to shame, and who is evidently a man without principle, beyond self-glorification, struck back with this stupid promise.

But here, given Giuliani's penchant for fascism, is one way he could actually realize that promise: Turn the entire county into an extension of Gitmo, that is, into one big prison for detainees without civil rights. Then, ipso friggin' facto, anyone who entered the country illegally would be a detainee, not an immigrant.

And you thought Bush was bad...