Sign of the Apocalypse #42: Desperate Housewives dolls

By Michael J.W. Stickings

The title of this SOTA post pretty much says it all.

The Madame Alexander doll company -- the existence of which may be a SOTA all on its own -- is coming out with a limited line of dolls of the five major Desperate Housewives characters. Here's how they're described at a page on doll collecting:

Wouldn’t it be fun to have fashion dolls fashioned after the ladies of Desperate Housewives? You could have a Gabriella doll dressed in beautiful, yet revealing outfits. A Bree doll dressed impeccably, if a bit prim. An Edie doll dressed, well... in a bit of a trashy manner. And a Lynette super mom doll all dressed up for work and family fun. Well... imagine no more! For 2007, Madame Alexander dolls is introducing a line of Desperate Housewives dolls based on the hit ABC series. The dolls are 16" tall, in vinyl, and will fit all Alexandra Fairchild Ford fashions. They are extremely limited to only 350 pieces each, and will retail for $129.99.

Oh, so much fun! You can create your very own Wisteria Lane in the comfort of your own home! You can even act out scenes from the show! And no one will ever know you're a loser!

Just note, that's $129.99 each -- and each, according to IMDb, comes with "character-appropriate styling".

For more, see Leora Israel Zellman's Desperate blog (yes, another possible SOTA): "My biggest concern though is that the dolls won’t do well because Desperate Housewives fans are older and don’t play with dolls. I can see crazy fans like myself getting them as keepsakes but I just don’t think the dolls will be all that popular."

Right, they're too mature for dolls. They just watch the stupid show.

Oh, speaking of Wisteria Lane -- check this out (another SOTA).

I can't wait for Real Doll (another SOTA, a serious one) to get in on the action. Just imagine the possibilities with life-like silicone reproductions of Susan (Teri Hatcher), Bree (Marcia Cross), Edie (Nicollette Sheridan), Gabrielle (Eva Longoria), and Lynette (Felicity Huffman). You could dress them up and... well, whatever.

Here's one more SOTA: The image above is the cover of Fashion Doll Quarterly. Say that with me again: Fashion. Doll. Quarterly. The very existence of such a publication is a sign of bad times ahead, is it not?

Okay, here's one more: Desperate Housewives Lingerie. Wait, that's not a SOTA. It sounds like a SOTA, but... well, check it out for yourselves.