BREAKING NEWS -- 13 percent of Americans are stupid ignoramuses

By Michael J.W. Stickings

Alright, that may be a tad harsh. Or... no. Is that overly generous? You decide.

According to a new 46-country survey, as reported by Reuters, "[t]hirteen percent of Americans have never heard of global warming even though their country is the world's top source of greenhouse gases".

My reaction to this report has come in two successive stages:

1) That's terrible. Americans are stupid. 13 percent is how many million? Their educational system sucks. The industry-funded propaganda, pushed on an ignorant public by media outlets that either believe the lies or avoid the liberal label by presenting two sides of the issue even when one side is a pack of lies and the scientific consensus is clear, is working.

2) Maybe that's not so terrible. Some Americans are stupid, perhaps many millions of them, but at least, if the survey results are to be believed, 87 percent of them have heard of global warming. That's not too bad. Considering an educational system that sucks and all that industry-funded propaganda and those irresponsible media outlets. Maybe the truth is getting out. Maybe there is hope yet that the world's worst polluter will reverse course and take positive steps to deal with the climate crisis. Sure, Bush is a know-nothing, do-nothing president, but some of the states are acting progressively, and there's always Arnold. California is where it's at, right? So, yeah, okay, not bad. For America.

Pardon my optimism. I may not be in my right mind this evening, but, well, I can't be negative all the time. Even on global warming.