Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Call me Secretary

One of our good friends, The Fixer of Alternate Brain, wonders what his cabinet would look like if he were elected president from the Blogger Party. Well, here it is:

Vice President - Pam Spaulding
Secretary of State - Michael J.W. Stickings
Secretary of the Treasury - Brad DeLong
Attorney General - Christy Hardin Smith
Secretary of the Interior - Gordon
Secretary of Agriculture - Radical Russ
Secretary of Commerce - Mrs. Fixer
Secretary of Labor - DBK (Froggy)
Secretary of Defense - Cdr. Jeff Huber
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Scout Prime
Secretary of Transportation - 42
Secretary of Energy - Michael Hawkins
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Shakespeare's Sister
Secretary of Education - PZ Myers
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Jo Fish
Secretary of Homeland Security - Larry C. Johnson
Press Secretary - Jane Hamsher
Ambassador to the U.N. - Roxanne

Advisers to the President:
For the Arts and Humanities - Mimus Pauly/Patrick
For High Technology - Badtux the Geeky Penguin
For International Relations - Eponymous/Juan Cole
For Womens Issues - Blondie (Blondsense Liz)/AOB
For Racial Issues - Steve Gilliard
For LGBT Issues - Genia Stevens
For Religious Issues - The Green Knight
On the Environment - Grannyinsanity

And what does the president think of his cabinet? "Now that's a progressive White House. Whatever you think, I'll betcha we do a better job than the bunch that's in there now."

Agreed. And I'm greatly honoured to be a part of it. Now, the fact that I was born in Montreal and hold dual Canadian and British citizenship might be held against me, but why not allow a non-American to run Foggy Bottom? At least I could get along with the rest of the world.

Besides, I have a solid group of co-bloggers and guest bloggers here who would do well in high-profile ambassadorships. Creature would like to be sent somewhere warm and sunny... uh, Iraq? Could I do that do him? Vivek went to Oxford. He'd be happy to return to England, I'm sure. The LGND? Paris? My brother James lives in England but was born in Canada. Perhaps he'd like a stint in Ottawa. Mr. Pierce could be an at-large ambassador for all things cultural and literary. And Grace... No, let's send Grace to Ottawa, where she has some connections, and send James to Africa. Yes, the whole continent. He's been there and could do a good job representing America's interests (in a positive way, without abusing that oft-neglected part of the world).

So -- Thank you, President Fixer. I'm confident we'd do well.

If only.

Bookmark and Share

6 Comments:

  • Iraq!?! I was thinking Aruba, at least then I'll have a better chance of getting my spin out to all the American cable outlets.

    By Blogger creature, at 8:57 PM  

  • Done. You're the new U.S. ambassador to Aruba. If you need anything, just contact the local MSNBC office. They're down there 24/7 from what I can tell.

    If Nancy Grace shows up, you may consider that a clear and present danger to justice and respond with any and all necessary force.

    I may have to send you to Tehran to do some negotiating, however. Be prepared. Above all, make sure you can pronounce "Ahmadinejad" accurately.

    By Blogger Michael J.W. Stickings, at 9:36 PM  

  • Above all, make sure you can pronounce "Ahmadinejad" accurately.

    Let me give it a try.... A-cha-ma-ASS

    By Blogger creature, at 10:08 PM  

  • Good enough.

    By Blogger Michael J.W. Stickings, at 10:53 PM  

  • Both of you quit fucking around and get to work!

    Creature - I'd better get regular rum shipments.

    Michael - If Creature acts up, (or the White House rum shipment is late) an ambassadorship to some sub-Saharan spot (or Thule, Greenland) might be in store for him. ;)

    By Blogger Fixer, at 6:08 PM  

  • Hey there, Michael (aka Nepotism Boy) - I want something out of all the years I've known you. - now, we may have our ups and downs, but I think I have been a good friend and I know that you respect my intellect. If you get to be the fatass secretary of state, I'll request some jaunty title - like "International U.S. Health Liason" or somesuch. With an office in Paris (I like Place d'Italie or the Marais) and in Sydney. WHERE ARE MY GOODIES??!!??!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:37 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home