Sunday, August 29, 2010

She Walks On Water

Kingmaker, The Power Behind the Throne, The Most Powerful Woman in America, The Second Coming, The Chosen One - these are some of titles being anointed to Sarah "All-Mighty" Palin, The Thrilla from Wasilla in the wake of Joe Miller's apparent upset victory over Lisa Murkowski last Tuesday in the Alaska Republican Primary for Senate.

Murkowski is the incumbent, having been appointed to the seat by her father in 2002. In 2004, when forced to run, she was victorious in the general election. Murkowski is considered a 'moderate' Republican. Other than the fact she is pro-choice and pro-stem cell, there is nothing moderate about Murkowski. She is given this label just because compared to most of the whackos in the GOP (see Bachmann, Michele and Foxx, Virginia), Lisa M is somewhat sane. Like all the lemmings in the Senate, Murkowski votes for whatever McConnell tells her to vote for. (every now and the, the Chinless One lets Susie or Limpie or Brownie deviate a bit to help with their media image)

The Murkowski family HATES Sarah Palin (chalk up another bonus point for Lisa) - it is the Hatfields and the McCoys. Palin defeated Lisa's father Frank (the one who appointed her) in the 2006 gubernatorial election. Palin of course did not finish the job she was elected to do - resigning 18 months before her term was over to indulge her ego and become the rich white man's wet dream.

Joe Miller is now poised to become the Republican candidate for Senate in Alaska. By any test, Miller makes Murkowski look like Ted Kennedy. Miller is a complete nut job - a Sharron Angle with an X-Y chromosome. He is pro-life with no exceptions, wants to privatize (aka get rid of) Social Security and tows the line on a whole slew of other Teabagger issues. With Alaska being overwhelmingly Republican (considering the state is the biggest recipient of Federal Dollars per capita, that is quite amusing) and Democrats showing the country what spineless wussies they are - the odds are Miller will be the next Senator.

But what has made this election so special is the fact that Palin campaigned for Miller and the media has deemed his victory is due to the sprinkling of Palin Fairy Dust.

from Christina Bellantoni at Talking Points Memo (of all places!):
it's her ability to totally change the dynamic of a given race that sets her apart not only from current GOP rivals but even most other politicos in recent memory. Whereas others can provide an incremental push to unknowns and incumbents alike, only Palin has demonstrated the ability to pluck a candidate from virtual obscurity and rocket them to political stardom -- and, often, to an unexpected win.

Lets take a look at the Palin record of plucking from obscurity and sending across the tape - Miller and Nikki Haley in So. Carolina.  That is it.  Palin has endorsed such other "unknowns" as Rick Perry and Carly Fiorina - who would have won their respective primaries with or without her.  Palin also endorsed Rand Paul and Sharron Angle - both won.  Did she make a difference - who knows?, she might have - we don't have the luxury of running the election again without Palin dropping her stinking feces in the races.  Angle benefitted from the chicken trading of Sue Lowden and Paul already had plenty of media attention - due to the uncanny ability of Teabaggers to generate Nielsen ratings.  Palin also endorsed Karen Handel in Georgia (who lost) and Rita Meyer in Wyoming (also a loser).  According to the Washington Post, Palin's batting average is .667 - great if you are in the MLB, lousy if you are Palin the Perfect.

Palin is only a kingmaker because the media (mainly Fox, but also cable outlets, wire services, papers and other assorted mass media machines run by white men) has chosen her to be some sort of combo of Eva Person, Aimee Semple McPherson and Marilyn Monroe.  If Palin looked like Meg Whitman or Virginia Foxx the media wouldn't waste 5 seconds of their time on her - and those magical red slippers would have been transferred to some other Wicked Witch.  It doesn't matter that Palin is a complete moron, that she only ever criticizes, that she has yet put forth one coherent idea, that she isn't qualified to clean up dog shit (moose shit yes, dog no), that she is a typical fear-monger filled with hate, and that she is a self-indulgent narcissist who puts herself ahead of everything (including her children and her elected job as governor) - the media follows her around like a bunch of aging teenagers after David Cassidy, Leif Garret or the Bay City Rollers.

There is no way to prove if a Palin endorsement actually helps or hurts.  But a Palin seal of approval will generate FREE national media attention - something a Nikki Haley or Joe Miller could never afford or would would never have gotten otherwise.  So in that case, having Palin cooties is probably worth it in a GOP primary.  There is no doubt she is the most polarizing figure in all of America today.  Nobody is lukewarm on Palin - you are either with her or against her.  And the people who adore - her brainless descamisados - well they don't just adore her, they worship the ground she walks on as the holiest of holys.  I bet many scrounge the garbage for her used napkins.  I guarantee not ONE of her followers can name a single accomplishment or idea Palin has (except tax cuts - which doesn't count because every Republican and teabagger is required to put forth tax cuts as the be-all and end-all of ideas).   Then again I guess I cannot blame them - she hasn't had an accomplishment.  But none of this matters in 2010 American politics - what matters is that Palin is hot to trot and there is a Black man in the Oval Office.  All the rest is just tripe.

Miller won in Alaska - the Palin playground and Haley won in South Carolina by a huge margin in the runoff.  Sarah might not be as "loved" as she once was in the 49th state - but they elected her in 2006.  And South Carolina - home of Mark Sanford, Joe Wilson, Jim Demented and Lindsey Graham - that alone speaks volumes about the voters in the Palmetto State.  Between the local and national media attention she gets (for no reason other than she makes people like Rush Limbaugh put the viagra back in the vial for a day), there is little doubt that her influence in Alaska during a Republican primary - is still strong.  I wonder if we pay Russia the same $7.2 million Seward paid the Czar in 1867 if they will take Palin off our hands - both Palins - Sarah and Todd.  They can leave Bristol - I have to see her on Dancing With the Stars.

If Joe Miller pulls this out, he owes Palin.  He is now officially The Manchurian Alaskan Candidate  - Raymond Shaw to Palin's Elinor Iselin.  Everytime the Queen of Diamonds herself, Sarah Palin, says teabag - Joe will have to jump.  This is far worse than being brainwashed - it is Palinwashed.  And it is a life sentence.

One day the media will wake up and realize they have been following the 21st century version of a snake-oil salesman.  Palin is a charlatan - a good looking one, but a charlatan nonetheless.  It's actually OK for the media to follow such drivel as Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton - neither of them have any delusions of grandeur of having their fingers on the Nuclear switch or leading a crusade into the Middle East.  Propping up the modern day version of Semple-McPherson and Peron is a dangerous MO in a country that worships the stupid.


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