Monday, May 03, 2010

Black is the new green

Guest post by Distributorcap

I'd like to introduce you to a new guest blogger here at The Reaction -- Distributorcap (not his real name), the proprietor of the excellent blog Distributorcap NY. He describes himself as an angry and frustrated writer who has spent his entire life in New York City (hence the anger and frustration) and who likes to report on what he sees around him while having a few laughs along the way. I'd describe him as an astute political commentator who brings just the right sardonic tone to his observations. I've long been a fan, and I think he'll be a great addition to our team. Look for more from him soon and be sure to check out his blog regularly. -- MJWS


What is happening in the Gulf of Mexico right now will probably end up being the biggest disaster ever to strike the U.S. Not only will millions of fish, animals, and plant life be destroyed but the livelihoods of millions of farmers, fishermen, businessmen, and resort owners along the pristine shores will likely suffer dramatic economic consequences. And the fragile ecological systems that ultimately sustain the arability of lands in the south will be forever tainted. I know this sounds alarmist, but the magnitude of this catastrophe will end up growing exponentially because this country refuses to face the obvious fact that we cannot drill baby drill (D-B-D) our way to energy independence.

I wasn't going to write about this, but I find it comical (and predictable) that the ONLY thing the D-B-D crowd on the right wants to talk about is how the Obama administration has been late to fixing this mess. You know, this is Obama's Katrina. (Then again, Obama does not get off scott free here. It was only a few months ago that he surprisingly lifted the moratorium on offshore drilling to buy a few GOP and conservadem votes).

Harken back to recent (dark) history, the 2008 Republican Convention. Who can forget the chants of "drill, baby drill"? From McCain, to Romney, to Giuliani, to the Schnook of the North, the crowds went wild as each of the stars of the GOP proclaimed we would "drill our way to economic health."

(can't you just hear Sarah singing "Ah sweet mystery of life I have found you" as the oil covers her).

Well, where are those D-B-D people today? In the words of that Republican Godfather (who has to be turning in his grave today), Abraham Lincoln, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

Fresh off their rapid health care protests against anything government, why are the teabaggers and their leaders so silent on the government takeover of the oil spill? Why isn't every teabagger, who protested so LOUDLY about the big bad government and the nasty income taxes that only benefit immigrants and welfare queens in their Cadillacs, down in Louisiana scraping oil off the egrets?

"Don't touch my Medicare, and now clean up the shorelines!"

The reason that they aren't opening their pie holes and saying anything is that they fully know our Kenyan-led socialist government has to go in and clean up this mess. Without that, those same teabaggers know it would remain a mess, and would ultimately affect the price of their shrimp cocktails. Even Governor Bobby Jindal (another complete moron who famously pooh-poohed a volcano warning system and other assorted government programs) needs this socialism to help his state out once again.

One thing about the GOP, they have no shame in being hypocrites.

I bet we ALL can easily recite the next few lines from the teabaggers, Rush, and Beck:

  • Accidents will happen, no big deal. It is only a few dead catfish.
  • The oil spill is good for America. Think of all the jobs it will create
  • The liberals and environmentalists caused this! (Rush has already used this one.)

The bloviators are nothing if not predictable.

And finally, what would a catastrophe be without some remarks from the 1/2-term walking catastrophe from Alaska herself? On Friday, the nitwit ex-governor finally "tweeted" her two cents:

Having worked/lived thru Exxon oil spill, my family&I understand Gulf residents' fears.Our prayers r w/u.All industry efforts must b employed

You know, as much as I think Sarah Palin is some sort of reincarnation of Eva Peron, Eva Braun, and Lucretia Borgia, I have to give her credit for handing pure comedy gold to the writers of the world. She makes it all too easy.

First, during the presidential campaign, Lady Blah-Blah couldn't even remember the Exxon Valdez Supreme Court case. Now she is an "expert who has lived through it." If she "helped in the clean-up" back in 1989, why didn't she mention the case when asked by Katie Couric?

Second, in 1989, five-college Sarah (besides being a disingenuous liar) had just eloped with Todd when the Exxon Valdez spill occurred. She was also barefoot and preggers with Track at the same time. Our Miss Sarah Louise did not enter politics until 1992. I would bet the farm that Palin was not cleaning the shore or de-oiling birds in Prince William Sound or having anything to do with getting her manicured nails dirty. She was staring at Russia from her window.

Third, has anyone ever articulated exactly what Miss Energy Policy knows about oil and the environment? Remember, Mooselini wanted to open ANWR for exploration -- you know make Alaska safer with a few less polar bears. I will tell you what the former beauty queen knows about energy. She knew how to get some cash for Alaskans out of the oil companies. And after a few weeks, she will be tooting the "drill baby drill" horn all over again.

I have a good way for the quitter to finally get her "environmental credentials." She should high tail it down to the Gulf Coast in one of her fancy Cessnas and start helping with the clean up. I bet she could suck up that oil through one of her bendy straws in no time.

Everything about this woman is fake. And like every other opportunist with no brain, she is eventually exposed for what she is. "Drill, baby, drill" -- she said it. So did McCain, so did Rudy. Hopefully this disaster is their (borrowing the line from Senator Jim Demented) Waterloo or Oilloo. Maybe they should drill her head to see if there is a brain in there.

When is this country going to finally grow up and face some sort of reality -- that the world is not our oyster, that we are not entitled and we are not anymore special than anyone other country? The catastrophe that is occurring in the Gulf of Mexico has very little to do with keeping the country moving and everything to do with the delusion that we can drill our way to economic health. This massive oil spill is not a bump in the road to energy independence but rather another in a long list of somber warnings that we have to change our ways or we will end up having no ways, and that that oyster is going to be nothing more than a repository for gasoline.

Meanwhile, enjoy your Louisiana blackened catfish with oil on the side.

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  • DC, this is one fine debut piece, complete with TWO illustrations. I'm impressed and welcome you to The Reaction.
    I am from Texas, btw, and feel a big weight of sadness for our Gulf, its people and creatures.

    By Blogger Carol Gee, at 12:05 PM  

  • carol

    thanks so much

    i hope i can be as astute and smart as all you guys!

    By Blogger Distributorcap, at 9:19 PM  

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