Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hillary's smelling burning rubber!

Or: The Garlic was right -- Hillary has built her "Field of Voices"

By J. Thomas Duffy

We had a running inside joke, a former girlfriend and I, that whenever someone said something impossibly outlandish, way off the charts, something totally crazy, we would ask them if they could smell burning rubber, the acrid odor being the tell-tale signal of their complete dementia.

Well, don't look now, but Hillary Clinton must have a mountain of burning Firestones wafting up her schnoz!

Clinton Hears Voices from Beyond: 'Keep Going' --

"Speaking about her work in South Texas as an organizer for George McGovern’s 1972 presidential campaign, Clinton said two strong Texas women inspired her -- Congresswoman Barbara Jordan and Texas Governor Ann Richards.

Clinton said they taught her about courage and determination. Then she suggested that she is hearing from them even as her campaign struggles to compete after a string of losses.

"I can hear their voices saying, 'You keep going! You give the people a real choice about the future!'" she said at a campaign event.

Jordan was the first black woman elected to the Texas state legislature and served in the U.S. House of Representatives from 1973-79. She died in 1996. Richards, a larger-than-life Governor, passed away in 2006."

Holy Cow! ... We don't need more political pundits babbling on television, swing open the doors and shepard in the ghost whispers!

We knew Rick Santorum was doing it, but Hillary?

This now has to have us revisit New Hampshire, where Hillary claimed to "find her own voice".

Was it her voice she found? Was it Jordan's or Richard's?

Actually, The Garlic had the scoop on this last month ... Or, you could say we had a "vision".

From our "Oh... people will come Hillary ... People will most definitely come ... The Results -- The Garlic's Weekly Poll":

"Not finding her own voice until January 2008, after all those years as First Lady, in the White House ... Running her campaigns for U.S. Senator ... It, kind of, makes you think about what she could have accomplished, earlier in her career, if only she had her own voice back then.

Hmmm ... Was it the crisp, cold New Hampshire air that brought it out? ... Could be a boon to the state, a, sort of "Field of Voices" kind-of-thing ... "If you build it, they will talk" ... People will come from all over, driving for miles and miles, just for the opportunity to breath in that Granite State air and find their own voices ... "

"Hillary, people will come Hillary. They'll come to New Hampshire for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for their own voices. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and their own voices they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in winter coats on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the voting lines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the election and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come, Hillary. The one constant through all the years, Hillary, has been elections. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But elections has marked the time. This field, this election: it's a part of our past, Hillary. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come, Hillary. People will most definitely come.

Screw the campaign, Hillary, and get your ass back up to New Hampshire!

The opportunity of your lifetime is waiting for you ... Your Field of Voices!

Think of the movie deal you could get ... You have a lot of big shot Hollywood pals ... Just have them front the money, pull out the old script of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (the movie, not the abominable television show), you rewrite it to contemporary times and release it as The Voices and Mrs. Clinton.

You could always go into voice-over work, but I don't know if they will mess up your vibe ... You know, the other voices you hear. You could get into some arguments with them, you know, what voice to use, or listen to, etc, etc.

Either that Hillary, or you better start hearing a boatload more voices ... Or better, how to throw those voices ... Hundreds-of-thousands of voices ... Voices that can follow voters into the voting booth, and whisper to those voters "Hillary Clinton ... Hillary Clinton ... Hillary Clinton ..."

Maybe, just maybe, you'll have a shot ...

(H/T - and thanks - to Joe Gandalman at The Moderate Voice.)

Bonus Hillary (or her voices) Riffs

Barry Crimmins: Cringe along with Clinton

Ron Fournier: ON DEADLINE: Chickens Come Home to Roost

Clinton Camp, Burnishing Her Experience Resume, Claims David Bowie Song "Changes" All About Hillary

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)

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