Wednesday, February 20, 2008

FRANCHISE ALERT: New health spa craze sweeps the nation

Guest post by Swampcracker

John McCain's latest switcheroo on the Intelligence Authorization Bill leads me to believe that "enhanced interrogation techniques" have gained a new air of respectability. The way I figure, if the most tormented candidate in presidential politics endorses it, then maybe it is time to jump on the bandwagon and get in on a ground floor opportunity.

That is why I have started investigating the latest health spa craze called "water-boarding." I have not seen it firsthand, but I understand it has something to do with taking a "dunk." I am told it improves respiration, or at least the ability to hold one's breath under water.

Aromatherapy bath oils improve the experience. Not the traditional kind of fragrances found in those super-posh spas like the Hanoi Hilton, but a new line of designer scents called Choke, Heave, Swallow, and Spirit of Sanson.

I rate this franchise opportunity a "no-brainer" and plan to be the first in my neighborhood to start one. Of course, Laura Bush, Lynne Cheney, and Cindy McCain will each receive a free introductory gift certificate to try water-boarding for themselves. To build your customer base, it helps to have testimonials from influential people.

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  • I understand saline sinus irrigation is all the rage these days. Waterboarding, neti pot, who's to say what the difference is?

    By Blogger LizardBreath, at 6:02 PM  

  • Will there be tanning booths too?

    By Blogger Libby Spencer, at 7:00 PM  

  • What is yoga, if not a series of stress positions?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:23 PM  

  • Shall we call it The Straight Talk Express Spa?

    By Blogger Swampcracker, at 8:37 PM  

  • Well put!!!
    I imagen there will be a waiting list for that special treatment!!??

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:57 PM  

  • That spa date I planned with my mom just doesn't seem as exciting anymore.

    By Blogger Dory, at 10:02 PM  

  • Will the treatment help my sinus infection?

    great post.

    By Blogger bean, at 9:49 AM  

  • You need to sell the screenplay - "Road to Wellville II" seems like a good title!

    By Blogger Capt. Fogg, at 10:04 AM  

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