Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fun fun fun til your daddy takes the T-bag away

Well, she got the Moose's nod
And she's the new Senate nominee wow
Seems like Fux News has a new darlin'
Like Queen Sarah told them would now
And with Rush, Sean and Karl showing wood
they can't hide the fact she's insane now.
But she'll have fun, fun, fun
til her daddy takes the T-bag away

Who'd of ever thought that watching the country turn into Somalia and that listening to the current crop of Republican "leaders" lie, scare, and mislead every day would be fun.  It never dawned on me that voting for the next Senator or Representative who could potentially end Social Security, help overturn Roe v. Wade,  or continue to favor the rich would like one giant pie fight.

Yesterday, Matt Lewis, a "pundit" who makes the rounds of the cable chat fests as a so called "conservative expert" (I guess because he has a blog) chimed in on the Christine O' Donnell primary victory. (After listening to Lewis for the first time - I quickly realized he is the same as every other political hack on the right - just another person who thinks he knows more than the rest of the country, but in reality makes it up shit just like everyone else.  But in Lewis' case, he just happens to have the good fortune of knowing the right folks at the cable channels to get him on the air - which in turn helps him sell books).

The proof in in the black and white (or living color) pudding. Lewis actually called voting for O'Donnell - "the fun vote." Yep, voting for a completely insane whacked out moron who believes in creationism and wants to outlaw masturbation - is something akin to watching The Hangover or the Marx Brothers.

There you have it - the precise reason why this country is falling off a cliff.  The people who make decisions on war, defense, health care spending, egg inspections, oil policy, wiretapping, interest rates and a few other minor things that affect 7 billion humans are not there to govern, they are there to entertain.  We are governed by a bunch of people no better (or funnier) than Martha Raye or Jerry Lewis.  The US government (to "pundits" like Matt Lewis) is nothing more than a bad vaudeville skit that needs to be Gonged.

The problem is Lewis is right.  Most of this country could care less about the issues and would rather vote for someone that is "fun to have a beer" with or would be a good "roll in the hay."  It doesn't matter that our previous beer buddy and current old man's wet dream both have a minimal grasp of reality, not one iota of worldliness and zero intellectual curiosity - they were (and are) very entertaining.

In a country that will lead the news and cheer when $25 million is spent on one baseball player or a movie star, but refuses to endorse paying decent wages to teachers and wants to see unions disbanded and public employees eliminated - I guess you can't expect much more. Making the electoral process like another day in Romper Room sure beats dealing with foreclosures, dead soldiers or crumbling bridges. 

In all seriousness, the 24/7 cycle of news created in the past 20 years has been a blessing to late night comedians and a nightmare for 300 million citizens.  Instead of the transparency and education having such extensive and pervasive communication could bring - what we have ended up with is news from John Stewart on Comedy Central and comedy from Sean Hannity on Fox News.  Talk about irony.

Americans might not be so good at making things (except financial instruments) or having the next big idea any more - but the masses in this country are experts at knowing what is entertainment - and what is not.  The endless ordeal of crap from Lindsay Lohan, the endless trail of mistresses for Tiger Woods and now the endless vapidity from the current crop of Teabagging candidates - are all well worth the investment in time - they make us smile and forget.   Problem is Lindsay and Tiger have absolutely nothing to do with how our we go about our business - they truly are just soma for the masses.  But laughing at the keystone kops who will be sitting in the Capitol or Supreme Court won't be so funny if we end up with Senator O'Donnell, Senator Angle or President Palin in the next few years.  NOW that would be a laugh riot.

But this is America - land of opportunity and freedom.  If we want stupid and incompetent people to run the nation - because they amuse us - then we have the right to have stupid and incompetent people run the place. So instead of being so somber and serious about the drab and mundane electoral process - let's turn it into a game of Hide and Seek and make Christine O'Donnell it.  And if we really want to have fun - let's also make sure Angle, Rubio, Paul, Miller and the real queen of this burlesque - Palin - all get their chances to be King of Hill.

Then the fun will really begin!

Well, the boys can't stand her
'Cause she walks, looks, and talks like a prude now
She makes a box of Trojans look like
a rubber balloon, now
A lot of guys try to catch her
But she leads 'em to her chastity belt now
But she'll have fun, fun, fun
til her daddy takes the T-bag away

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