Friday, October 05, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons leading to Newt Gingrich deciding not to run for president

By J. Thomas Duffy

News Item: No Newt

10. There was a special, pre-nuptial clause in Gingrich's Contract for America that prevents him for running for President.

9. Told an aid, that with Hillary in the Senate, "You can bet-your-ass she'll try to impeach me".

8. Doesn't have any spiffy nicknames for himself, like
The Decider/Commander/Shakespeare Guy President Bush.

7. Claims he said only if the New York Mets made the playoffs would he run for President.

6. Doesn't feel like dealing with -- if she gets the Democratic Nomination --
Hillary Clinton and her laugh.

5. Doesn't want to chance having Ann Coulter call him a "Fag".

4. Tough campaigning, since he already adopted
his own policy of restricting Free Speech.

3. Deathly afraid Rush Limbaugh will start calling him a "Phony Politician".

2. His own group, American Solutions, issued a white paper indicating how bad a Gingrich presidency would be for the country.

1. Might have to go to dinner at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem with Al Sharpton and doesn't want to show-up Bill O'Reilly by not coming out with racist comments.

Bonus Newt Riffs

Michael Scherer - Newt: I'm shocked, shocked by Abramoff scandal! - From his lofty perch on the sidelines, the ethically challenged former speaker denounces corruption in politics.

David Sirota: Newt's New Con

Crooks and Liars: Newt Blames The Victims of Katrina

(Cross-posted at The Garlic.)

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