Friday, June 08, 2007

Scenes from Heiligendamm; or, what it's like to discover plutonium... by accident!

By Michael J.W. Stickings

A G8 comedy featuring George, Angie, Vlad, and Nick. (Inspired by this and this.) The setting is a small German city on the Baltic Sea. Angie is seated between Vlad and George on an odd-looking contraption. Nick stands off to the side, exchanging pleasantries with Steve, Tony, Romo, and Shinzy. José is milling about with some B-listers, all ignored, well out of sight.

-- George: (gently rubbing Angie's shoulders) Hey, you know, Angie, I just had a pretty wild idea.
-- Angie: (quivering) What is it?
-- George: (smirking, feeling like a real decider) Well I, uh, I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, I believe it's ménage à trois?
-- Angie: (surprised, trembling in anticipation) Was?
(Just then, Vlad hands a cell phone to Nick and turns to George and Angie, smiling.)
-- Vlad: Hi. (mumbling) Sorry about that. Nick had me on with his friend Jean-Marie. Charming fellow. Great ideas. Hmmm.
-- Angie: (visibly shaking with delight) Vlad! Remember what we talked about the other day? George is into it!
-- Vlad: (foaming at the mouth) Oh really?! Da?!
-- George looks into Vlad's heart, then into his pants. The camera moves in on a close-up of an increasingly horrified George, and freezes. There will be no new Cold War tonight.

Laughter. Fade out.

(Seriously, what's the deal here with Putin and Sarkozy? To whom are they talking?)

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